Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A liberal kindergarten teacher taught a class of thirty. On election day, she asked the students to raise their hand if they were Democrats. 29 students raised their hands. She asked the kid with his hand down if he was a Republican. “Yes”, the boy replied. The teacher asked why and the boy said because his parents were. “Well if your parents are total morons, what does that make you?” “A Democrat.”
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After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., this father finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw away the directions, and in a short while, had the set completely assembled. “It’s beyond me,” said the father, “how you got it together without even reading the instructions.” “To tell you the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and when you…
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One day a 18 year old boy is visiting his father. He is about to move out and get his own place. So he asks his father if he has any last advice. His dad looks at him and says, “You know son, this might be the most important thing I’ve ever told you.” He says, “I want you to always remember this, it’s eighteen years of child support if you break a condom.” The boy looks at him and…
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There were two baseball players whom had been friends for a long time. Well, they had made a promise to each other that if one had died before the other that he would come back and tell him how heaven was. As fate would have it, one of the men died in a car crash a couple of weeks later. One night while he was getting ready to go to bed, his dead buddy appeared in his room, so he…
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1. We both work and you got the check last time. Let me get it. 2. I don’t need another pair of shoes. I have a closet full of them I don’t wear now. 3. Maybe this isn’t the right time time talk about this. Let’s talk later. 4. We always talk about how I feel. How do you feel? If you don’t know, that’s OK. 5. You’re right, I’m wrong. I’m sorry. 6. I’m sorry I made such a…
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“I have seven ‘nees,” said a man to his friend. “Oh, yeah?” his friend responded. “Tell me how you can have seven.” ” Okay. I have two knees, two kidnees, two ninnees, and one weenee.”
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Three housewives are having lunch together in a small diner. Over dessert and coffee, they are discussing their suspicions regarding their spouses’ infidelities. The first housewife says, “You know, I once found a pair of panty hose in the pocket of my husband’s coat and it’s not mine.” “Tell me about it,” says the second housewife. “Several weeks ago, I found a box of condoms in my husband’s drawer. And I know he never uses them whenever we have sex.”…
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Brenda McCarthy is home making dinner for her husband Patrick when Tim Finnegan knocks at her door. “May I come in, Brenda darlin’?” says Tim sadly, “I’ve somethin to tell ya.” “Of course, Tim, come in, but where’s Patrick?” she asks. “That’s what I’m here to be tellin ya, Brenda,” says Tim. “There was an accident down at the Guinness Brewery.” “Oh, God NO!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me…..” “I’m so sorry, darlin’” says Tim, his voice breaking, “Your…
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Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all going for a job as a code breaker for Scotland yard. Their first test is to pick the odd one out from 3 objects. A carrot, a potato and a knife. The Englishman walks in and the interviewer asks him which is the odd one out. The Englishman replies, “The knife, because the other 2 are vegetables.” He passes the test and is told to send the 2nd man in. The Scotsman enters…
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A girl and this guy have been going out for a long time when she finally says, “I have got to have you NOW!” He says, “How?” “Well, there’s a tree in my backyard. You can put me in it then fuck me.” He agrees, so they go in the backyard and he puts her in the tree and they do it. He takes her down and she goes inside to her room. Finally his conscience gets to him and…
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