Don king Jokes - page 41

A True ‘Friendly Skies’ Story

Years ago, a united Airlines flight at Denver’s old Stapleton International Airport was canceled. As a harried United agent was re-booking the inconvenienced passengers on other flights, an angry primmadonna flier pushed his way to the front of the line, slapped his ticket down on the counter and exclaimed, “I MUST be on THIS flight, and it must be FIRST CLASS!” The agent was polite and apologized for the inconvenience the passenger was experiencing, but said that to be fair,…

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Can It Get More Embarrassing Than This?

The following are two of the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest: “While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said…

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Bored Traveler

Stuck in a strange city by bad weather, the drinker was bored. He sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation, turned to the bartender and said, “Hey, about those Democrats in Congress…” “Stop–I don’t permit talk about politics in my bar!” interrupted the bartender. A few minutes later, the gent tried again, “People say that the Pope…” “Whoa, no religious talk either,” the bartender cut in. “Look, how about sex? Can I talk sex?” “Sure,” said…

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Take your pick…

One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…

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A Memory To Remember!

So this reporter checks in at some old hotel smack in middle of nowhere. Coming into the lobby, he is confronted with the strange sight of an old Indian, whittling stick, long black hair, reddish skin, sitting on one of the chairs as if he intends never to get up. “That’s Old Chief Forget-Me-Not,” whispers the man behind the desk reverently, “he is allowed to stay here for free because he let me build my hotel on his reservation.” “Why…

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Pigs

A pig farmer had about 9 sows he needed to get bred. He called around the area to only find out the only available breeder was two counties over. So he loaded up the pigs in a truck and headed out. When he got to the breeder, as he was unloading the pigs, the man ask what it would cost. The man replied, “It’ll be $100.00 a sow”. The man says, “That’s outrageous, I don’t have that kind of money”.…

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male comebacks to female comebacks

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers you a slut. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my cock. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine. Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I…

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Who Wears the Pants in the Family?

This guy came home to his wife one evening after working all day and began ordering her around. To his surprise the wife interrupted him by saying that she was tired and had a rough day herself. He looked at her in funny way and began unbuttoning his pants. She just stood there in a curious manner. “Here,” he said, “put these pants on.” “These will never fit me,” she said. “I could get two people in these.” Without hesitation…

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Double Your Pain

A man was walking on the sidewalk when he spotted a lamp. When he rubbed it, he was granted three wishes. “However,” the genie said, “every lawyer in the world will receive your wish twice.” The man agreed. “For my first wish, I would like a million dollars,” the man said. POOF! He had a million dollars. “Now every lawyer has two million dollars. What is your second wish?” the genie asked. “I’d like a Ferrari,” the man replied. POOF!…

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Not-So-Happy Solution

Bubba Wilkes goes in to see Dr. Smith. “Dr. Smith…I’ve got a problem!” exclaimed Bubba. “Just what seems to be the matter, Bubba?” remarked Dr. Smith. “Well, I’ve been having hot flashes on and off for the last 3 weeks and it’s really getting to bother me. Can you check me out to find out what’s wrong?” “No problem, Bubba,” said Dr. Smith. “You know we have one of the best labs in the country next door. We’ll do the…

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