Doctor who Jokes - page 29

A pill for the rest of my life

Casey came home from the doctor looking very worried. His wife asked, “What’s the problem?” He said, “The doctor told me I have to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life.” She said, “So what! Lots of people have to take a pill everyday their whole lives.” He said, “I know, but he only gave me four pills.”

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Nice Guy Test

The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…

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contagious condition

This woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked what was the problem she responded, “Well, whenever I take off my clothes my nipples get hard.” Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath then asked, “Your nipples get hard?” “Yes,” quite innocently came her reply. “Undress so I can check,” replied the still amazed doc. So she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer. After some considerable time the doctor, still looked…

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What’s Your Fee?

When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table. Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved his life. As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanks the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services. “Just name the fee,” he croaked, gratefully. “Okay,” replied the doctor. “How about half of what you’d have offered…

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Womb!!!

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day while the teacher had asked the kids whenever she gives a letter from A-Z use a word that starts with that letter then use it in a sentence. The teacher goes ahead with her lesson and Starts out with “A” well Johnny was the first one to raise his hand, but the teacher thinks to herself she had better not, because she knows how Johnny is. So instead she picks Sandra. Sandra…

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The Lord’s on my Side

An elderly couple goes for their annual physical. The man is checked out first and the Dr. replies, “Mr. Smith you’re in remarkable health for a man your age.” “I’m not surprised,” answers Mr. Smith, “I’ve got the Lord on my side.” “How do you mean,” asks the doc, beginning to wonder about senility. “Well just last night,” begins the old guy, “I had to pee in the middle of the night and the Lord turned on the bathroom light…

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Dr. Dolittle

At a medical convention, a male and female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go in and wash her hands. Once she comes back, they go…

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Brains For Sale

An alien from Alpha Centauri walks into a Martian restaurant specializing in human brains. He takes a seat and asks the waiter, “What’s your special on human brains?” “Well, we have engineer brains, doctor brains and lawyer brains,” the waiter enumerates. “Hmm. How much are the engineer brains?” “?bout 20 credits an ounce.” “That’s fair. Engineers have college education. How about the doctor brains?” “They cost around 30 credits an ounce.” “That’s also fair. Doctors have to undergo eight years…

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A Hillbilly Accident

Billy Bob was rushed to the emergency room suffering from a gaping gunshot wound on his left leg. While his wound was being cleaned, Billy Bob was asked by the doctor on duty how he got shot in the leg. “Well, me and my buddies wuz sittin’ around drinkin’ some moonshine. Just mindin’ our own bizness,” recounted Billy Bob. “Then my best buddy Zeke got up and took up his shotgun and sez he wanna go huntin’.” Billy Bob then…

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Delivery Room

The nervous father-to-be was pacing outside the delivery room when finally the doctor emerged. “Oh, doctor!” he cried. “Is it a boy or a girl?” “I’m afraid I have a bit of bad news,” said the doctor gravely. “I’m sorry to have to tell you that your child was not born complete.” The father’s face fell, but he said, “well, I’m sure it can have a happy and complete life in any case.” “It’s pretty bad,” said the doctor. “I’m…

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