Dis Jokes - page 6

France Gets a ‘Sad Face’ on Its Financial Report Card as Debt Climbs and Leaders Argue Over the Check. ? Fitch, the no-nonsense financial principal, has officially given France a less-than-stellar grade, downgrading its credit rating from a ‘respectable’ AA- to a ‘just-passing’ A+. This marks France’s lowest score on record at a major agency, making efforts to control national finances as complicated as trying to assemble IKEA furniture with missing instructions. ?? A leader resembling President Macron and his…

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Well, that was awkward! ???? Australia’s police forces geared up for a massive ‘Day of Protests,’ complete with pepper spray at the ready, only to discover most of the anticipated ‘rabble-rousers’ apparently hit the snooze button. The streets, prepped for epic brawls, instead saw a smattering of folks airing diverse grievances – everything from vaccine hesitancy to calls for racial justice. It was less of a showdown and more of a modest stroll, leaving officers with plenty of unused riot…

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Jaws at 50: Spielberg Admits He Feared Career Doom and Witnessed Epic Barfing. The legendary filmmaker, celebrating a new exhibition in LA, looked back at the chaotic making of his iconic shark flick. Apparently, it wasn’t all smooth sailing… or rather, smooth swimming! ? He confessed to fearing his career was ‘over’ during the notoriously difficult production, which famously involved a perpetually malfunctioning mechanical shark. But wait, there’s more! He also vividly recalled the sheer amount of seasickness on set,…

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Radiohead, usually known for their profound, often melancholic, musical journeys, have apparently traded their cryptic lyrics for some very direct consumer advice. ? The band is urging fans to avoid those dodgy secondary ticket sites where a whopping 1,000+ potentially fraudulent tickets for their upcoming shows have been discovered. It seems even rock legends aren’t immune to the mundane horrors of ticket scalping! ? Read more: radiohead condemn exploitative touts and resale sites ahead of tour

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Canada’s Liberal government has revealed its master plan to ‘turbocharge’ the nation’s economy – and apparently, that means strapping a nuclear reactor, a bunch of critical mineral mines, and an LNG facility to it! ? This ambitious first wave of national projects aims to propel Canada forward while simultaneously fending off a pesky trade war with the United States. ? Curiously, the unveiled list conspicuously avoids any mention of new oil pipelines, projects that have proven more divisive than a…

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Well, look what we have here! Cuba’s power grid, apparently suffering from a severe case of ‘the Mondays’ every other month, has decided to take its fifth little siesta this year. ? The energy ministry, probably sighing heavily, confirmed that 10 million people are once again playing ‘find the flashlight’ after a “total disconnection” of their wonderfully antiquated electric system. ???? Emergency crews are, yet again, on the scene, likely with a sense of déjà vu, trying to coax the…

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