Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
NASA wass preparing for another mission and wanted to send a woman into space. To find the right one, NASA officials interviewed a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They called in the brunette and told her that she was one of the finalists to go into space. Then one of the officials asked her what planet she would like to visit and why. She thought about it and then said that she would like to go to Jupiter and…
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A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede thier position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the husband replied, “inlaws.”
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This guy staggers home drunk one night. His wife is still up so he starts telling her about this great bar he was at. He said, “Wow honey, it was great! Everything was gold! Ya wouldn’t believe it. They had gold plates, gold mugs, gold disco balls, everything was gold! They even had gold urinals!” His wife said, “Yeah, sure honey. Why don’t you just sleep it off?” So the guy passes out. The next morning, the wife is curious…
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Q: Do you know why so many Italian men are named Tony ? A: Because when they get on the boat to come to America, they stamp “TO NY” on their forehead !
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A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene. Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir,…
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Stage 1: Kissing/Light Petting What he hopes you’re thinking: “Oh, I can’t resist: I’m powerless before your seductive ways!” What he’s afraid you’re thinking: “Garlic breath–ewwww!” Stage 2: Undressing What he hopes you’re thinking: “My God, look at the size of that!” What he’s afraid you’re thinking: “My God, look at the size of that!” Stage 3: Foreplay/Oral Sex What he hopes you’re thinking: “I could worship at the altar of your impressive manhood for hours.” What he’s afraid you’re…
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A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who I haven’t seen in a long time.”…
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This guy comes home from work and runs up the stairs yelling honey pack your bags i just hit the lotto. She’s all excited and says well should i pack for the ocean or should i pack for the mountains? He says i dont give a shit just pack your bags and get the fuck out.
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Two elderly women who were rivals in a social circle met at a party. “My dear,” said the first woman “Are those real pearls?” “They are,” replied the second woman. “Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them,” smiled the first. The second responded with an even bigger smile, “Yes, but for that, you would need real teeth.”
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“I’ll get a world record for this.” “It’s fireproof.” “He’s probably just hibernating.” “What does this button do?” “You’re under citizen’s arrest!” “Bull! You’re not a REAL cannibal.” “It’s probably just a rash.” “Are you SURE the power is OFF?” “Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?” “The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!” “Pull the pin and count to WHAT?” “WHICH wire was I supposed to cut?” “I…
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