Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down and stared at the stork awhile longer. Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, “Gee, Dad, he doesn’t even recognize me!”
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God created the mule and told him, “you are mule. You will work constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.” The mule answered, “To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 30.” And it was so. Then God created the dog and told him, “You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of…
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Q: What is a test tube called when it has a college degree? A: A graduated cylinder
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In church this past Sunday, we celebrated Communion. During the “Children’s Sermon,” the minister was talking about Communion and what it was all about. “The Bible talks of Holy Communion being a ‘joyful feast.’ What does that mean? Well, ‘joyful’ means happy, right? And a feast is a meal. So a ‘joyful feast’ is a happy meal. And what are the three things we need for a happy meal?” My son blurted out “Hamburger, fries and a soft drink?”
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NAME:____________ GANG:____________ 1. Johnny has an AK47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each driveby shooting, how many driveby shootings can he attend before he has to reload? 2. Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 a day crack habit? 3. Jerome wants to cut his…
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1. Marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring wedding ring suffering 2. Marriages are made in heaven… Then again, so are thunder and lightning 3. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The problem is WHICH ONE? 4. Marriage is not a word. It is a life long exclamation. 5. Marriage is when fantasy wins over reality. Reality bites! 6. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.…
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Coming back from a month-long business trip to Asia, a wealthy businessman arrived at the airport where he was fetched by his chauffeur named Jim. On the long drive home, the businessman inquired, “So, Jim, has anything happened while I was away?” Jim replied, “No, sir. I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.” The businessman said, “Come now, Jim. I have been away for almost a month. Surely something must have happened in all that time.” Thinking for…
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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a hellofalot cheaper than a doctor.”…
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One day, Bob, who is a salesman, walked into his boss’s office. Bob said he had this friend who was a really good salesman, but he just got laid off. Bob asked if there was any chance that his boss could give him a job. His boss smiled, but said that he doesn’t like to hire people unless he meets them first. Bob then replied, “Well can’t you just give him a chance. You know, one of those trial periods.”…
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This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled, and new dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached 15 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour and 25 minutes! When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way…. The first Sunday, my gums were so sore, it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday,…
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