Co ed Jokes - page 213

Drinking Regulation

Two lesbians walk into a bar, and take a seat on a couple of barstools. After a moment, the bartender notices them, and comes over. “We’ll have a couple of 14 year-old’s,” says one of them. The bartender looks at them disgustedly, and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors to liquors.”

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WHAT?!

This elderly couple, that lived in Ohio, was driving back from Alabama where they were on vacation. The wife is hard of hearing. But on there way they got stop for speeding in Kentucky. Well the cop comes to the window and says “Sir do you know you were speeding” and the wife asks ” WHAT DID HE SAY?” the husband replies “He said we were speeding” the wife says “oh” The cop looks at the man drivers license and…

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Jewish Problems

A Jewish man was rather upset because he thought that he had brought his son up right, taught him the faith, and given him a good childhood, but his son grew up and became a Christian. He took this problem to his Rabbi, and told him all about it. His Rabbi said, “Funny you should come to me about this. You see, I thought that I had brought up my son correctly. I taught him the faith, and sent him…

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Cigars

A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy. “When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your asshole. Then remove it, rewrap it, and place it back with all the others in such a fasion as you can’t tell which one it is.…

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It wasn’t Hank Aaron….

During a long rain delay, the baseball announcer filled in some time by sharing some baseball trivia with his color man. “Know who hit the most home runs between 1955 and 1975? I’ll tell you — it was none other than Hank Aaron.” “Know who hit the most RBIs between 1955 and 1975? It was also Hank Aaron.” “And who got hit on the chin with the most balls between 1955 and 1975?” “Hank Aaron?,” ventured the color commentator. “Nope,”…

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photo finish

A man moves into a nudist colony. Sometime later, he receives a letter from his mother asking for a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let his mother know that he now lives in a nudist colony, he takes a photo of himself, cuts it in half, and sends her the top piece. A few weeks later, he receives another letter from his mother, this time asking him to send a picture to his grandmother…

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Three Doctors

Three surgeons were at lunch one day having a conversation about what they liked the most about operating. The first surgeon said: “I like operating on accountants because their insides are numbered.” The second surgeon said: “I enjoy operating on librarians because their insides are in alphabetical order.” The third doctor said: “I really love to operate lawyers becasue they are spineless, heartless, gutless, and best of all, their heads and asses are interchangeable.”

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He finally got it

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter, then started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, “You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?” She answered herself by saying, “I bought it with the insurance money!” She then said, “Irving, remember that new car you promised me?” She answered again, saying,…

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Read JokeHe finally got it