Co ed Jokes - page 132

Take a Look

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress, and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased… what an honest man he was and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”

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Smelly socks

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. “Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. “His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?” “Oh yes, very much,” he said,” but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that…

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Turn the page

A college professor goes to bed with his wife. Figuring that he’s not that tired, he’s decides stay awake and read while she goes to sleep. So while he’s reading, every once in a while he reaches over and tickles her on the fun spot… “Kitza kitza…” She says, “Will you stop that! Will you stop reaching over here and teasing me like that?” “I’m not teasing you. I’m wetting my fingers so I can turn the page.”

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Candy Store

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how’d you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?” Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn’t help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to…

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Shoot for the Moon

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark: “Good luck, Mr.Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was…

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Parrot on Titanic

Mrs. VanAstor was seated beside her luggage in the First Class Passenger waiting room beside the pier at South Hampton, preparing to board the HMS Titanic when a British sailor approached her with a parrot. “Excuse me, Mum,” said the limey, “but Butch, that’s me parrot here, we wuz lookin forward to visitin the Colonies but I wuz just told they had enuff staff and I’m not needed, and Butch is terrible disappointed. Would you mind takin him with you?…

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How to lose weight…

How to Lose Weight at Work Without Doing Much Here?s the guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume. Beating around the bush. . . . . . . . .75 Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . . . 100 Climbing the walls . . . . . . . . . . 150 Swallowing your pride. . . . . . . . . .50 Passing the buck . . .…

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Men at Work

For the last 15 years Phil and Dave have car-pooled together and had lunch together and never have missed a day. One day Dave was waiting outside on the bench for Phil for lunch and Phil nevers shows up. This was not a good sign but Dave said he would wait until after work because maybe something had come up at the last minute. So after work Dave met Phil at the car and asked him, “Where were you today…

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