Co ed Jokes - page 123

Poor Hillary

Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to discover that she is pregnant. She is furious and can’t believe this has happened, when she is running for the Senate, too!!! She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone and immediately begins to berate him, screaming, “I just found out I’m 5 weeks PREGNANT, and it is all YOUR fault!!! How could you have let this HAPPEN? With…

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Beer festival

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one. The guy…

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so damn dumb

yo momma so damn dumb when the judge said “Order in the court,” she said she’ll take some fries, a shake, etc. yo momma so damn dumb she thinks speed dial is fast acting soap.

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Bachelor

The confirmed bachelor decided to marry his long-time girlfriend. “I have to warn you however,” said he, “that on Mondays I play bridge, on Tuesdays I work seminar, on Wednesdays I go to the gym, on Thursdays I play indoor soccer, on Fridays I go out with the boys from work, and on Saturdays I go to the rugby with my mates, but on Sundays I’m all yours.” “That’s fine,” she said. “Just as long as you realise that I…

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The Secret to Bigger Breasts

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full-length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every…

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For Show and Tell

While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family’s faith to class. At the appropriate time, she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students. The first child said, “I am Muslim, and this is my prayer rug.” The second child said, “I am Jewish, and this is the Star of David.” The third child said, “I am Catholic, and this is…

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Latex Gloves

As the dentist was putting on his rubber gloves, he asked the elderly lady, “Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?” She said, “No.” “Well,” he spoofed, “down in Puerto Rico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the natives walk up to the tank, and dip their hands in — and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up — then they peel off the gloves and…

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Vacation

A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks “What’s up?” The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?!” Joe says, “Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting there?” “We’re taking TWA,” the man replies. “TWA?!” yells Joe. “They’re a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight…

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Changing Zips

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. She says, “I’m on the road a lot, and my friends are complaining that they can never reach me.” “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” the psychiatrist asks. “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Puzzled, he asks, “Uh … How’s that working?” “Actually, I haven’t gotten any letters yet,” the blonde responded. “And why do you think…

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Wishing Well

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too far, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for awhile, but then smiled and said, “It really works!”

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