Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The day before his wedding this guy decides to play a game of baseball with his buddies. Playing shortstop he gets hit in the ‘nads with a line drive. He goes to the doctor in a lot of pain, but the doctor tells him there is nothing he can do except wrap it up. So the doc takes a few tongue depressors and wraps it in a splint. The next night on his honeymoon his lovely wife comes to him…
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A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
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Pushing his way to the front of the crowd, Jesus waved his arms if front of the mad throng. When they had quieted, he helped up a woman whom they had been pelting with stones. “This is wrong! Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Suddenly a rock came flying from the midst of the mob, and caught the woman square in the forehead. Looking across the sea of faces, Jesus swore, “Dammit! Is that you, Mother?”
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A man is eating in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. “Oh my god, I am sooo sorry,” the woman says, as she pops her eye back in place.…
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For years and years they told me, “Be careful of your breasts. Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them And give them monthly tests.” So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully And always wore a bra. After 40 years of careful care, The doctor found a lump. He ordered up a mammogram To look inside that clump. “Stand up very close,” she said, As she got my breast in line. “And tell me…
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The symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven’s Ninth. In the piece, there’s a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some of them decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, “Hey! We need to get back!” “No need to panic,” said…
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A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?” “Sure do,” replied the bartender. “Good,” said the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my ‘gator.”
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A lady is sitting in a roadhouse bar drinking; when she asks the bartender where the bathroom is located. The bartender tells her that the toilets broken, but she can go out back and squat next to the dumpster if she wants. The lady has been drinking pretty heavily so she staggers out back. She pulls her panties down and relieves herself, but she is so drunk she passes out . A trucker who has been on the road for…
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He’d been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. “Why don’t you use an old ball?” his friend asked. “I’ve never had an old…
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When creating email addresses, many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and middle initial to either the beginning or end. For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may occur when there is a large and diverse pool of accounts. Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses. TOP TEN…
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