Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
True Story: I went to lunch at an Olive Garden restaurant with a group of co-workers one day. One of the guys who went with us, Ilya, is a Russian immigrant who is still working on his English skills. I had been encouraging him to use more American idiomatic expressions and slang. The waitress at the restaurant seemed very nervous. When she brought out the drinks she spilled them all over the table. Of course everyone broke out laughing. Except…
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the Points System. —————————————— SIMPLE DUTIES: Making The Bed: You make the bed …………………………………………+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……..0 You throw the…
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A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?” The waiter replied, “Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant… He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the…
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There was a little boy and a little girl playing in a sandbox. The little boy asks the little girl if she would show him her private. She said no, but the little boy said that if she showed him hers he would show her his. The little girl agreed lifted up her dress, and the little boy looked and was pleased. Then the little boy pulled down his pants and the little girl looked. When the little boy went…
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My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth–that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally–but I didn’t want to upset him. I once heard the voice of God. It said “Vrrrrmmmmm.” (Unless it was just a lawn mower.) I don’t know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine…
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I use to be a safe driver – but I gave it up. Who wants to drive a safe?
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At a cabin way up in the mountains a very large family was seated around a big dinner table and as is customary there was no passing of food. When they wanted something they just stood up and reached for it. Since the table was so long, some of the reaches were pretty far. One of the older boys was sitting at the end and wanted a slice of bread, so he stood up and reached all the way across…
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Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his father, “Pa, what’s screwin’?” “Ma! Get out here! Jr. wants to know what screwin’ is.” So she gets undressed and sprawls out on the bed. The father turns to Johnny and says, “See that there hole between your mom’s legs? Watch this!” So they go at it and Little Johnny’s sister walks in. “Johnny, what are they doin’?” “Them’s screwin’.” Johnny said. “What’s screwin’ Johnny?” she asked. “Well,” said…
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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were talking one afternoon, and Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux, “You know, I tink I’m ready for a lil vacation. But, dis year I wants to do sumting different. De last few year, I took your suggestion ’bout where to go. Tree year ago you say I should go to Hawaii, an’ I did an’ Marie got pregnant. And las year you tol me to go to Tahiti. Sho ‘nough, Marie got pregnant again.” So Thibodeaux asks Boudreaux, “What…
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A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the checkout counter, where she told the checkout girl, “Nothing but the best for my little kitten.” The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you…
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