Pee Jokes

Jane Fonda Says ‘History Repeats Itself,’ Resurrects Her Father’s McCarthy-Era Free Speech Group

Jane Fonda says ‘History Repeats Itself,’ resurrects her father’s McCarthy-era free speech group! ? It seems some things never change! After decades, the iconic actor is dusting off the old ‘Committee for the First Amendment,’ originally founded by her legendary father during the very real, very paranoid McCarthy era. Now, with a fresh batch of A-list celebrities joining the cause, it appears the fight for free speech is back on the red carpet, ? spurred on by what are being…

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Read JokeJane Fonda Says ‘History Repeats Itself,’ Resurrects Her Father’s McCarthy-Era Free Speech Group

Stopped for Speeding

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place . . . The man says, “What’s the problem, Officer?” Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55-zone.” Man: “No Sir, I was going 65.” Wife: “Oh, Harry, you were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: “I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.” Man: “Broken tail light? I didn’t…

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Read JokeStopped for Speeding

Speed sign

I got pulled over by Las Vegas Metro (the combined police and sheriff’s department) recently, and charged with speeding. The sign read, “25 MPH WHEN FLASHING.” I wasn’t flashing, and I don’t even OWN a raincoat!

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Read JokeSpeed sign

Deaf Speech

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give a speechs to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience. The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing his chest and then his groin. When he finished the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing. “Well,” he explained” By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated…

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Read JokeDeaf Speech

Don’t Pee in Church!

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.” The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. From now on when you have to ‘pee,’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.” The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his Father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.” The Father…

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Read JokeDon’t Pee in Church!

Don’t pee in the pool

A guy was staying in a fancy hotel and was enjoying the pool when the manager told him quite bluntly to get out. When asked for the reason, the manager said, “Because you peed in the pool.” “Well,” replied the swimmer, “lots of people do that.” “True,” answered the manager, “but you did it from the diving board.”

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Read JokeDon’t pee in the pool

Grandma’s pee

A bus, whose doors are open all the time was riding through town. In comes an old woman, and as she find herself a seat, she suddenly felt the urge to pee. Unfortunately, her stop is still far away, so she decided to pee out of the bus’s door when no one is looking. As the bus rides, she went to the most back door, lifted her skirt and peed. Unfortunately though, some of her pee landed in a young…

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Read JokeGrandma’s pee

Snow White Peep Show

One day Snow White was going upstairs to take a shower and the seven dwarfs decided that they would go outside and stand one on top of each other’s shoulders to build a ladder and look into the window. They told the guy on top to tell them everything that’s happening and they would pass it down the line to the others. Suddenly, the top dwarf whispers, “She’s taking off her shirt..” The other dwarfs repeat, “Taking off her shirt”,…

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Read JokeSnow White Peep Show

Speedy Couple

A couple were coming back from a dinner party one night. The wife said,”I want you to know that I had an affair with someone, and now I’m leaving you.” The husband said nothing but just increased the speed of his car from 60mph to 70mph. The wife added, “I want the cars and the kids.” The husband still remained silent and increased the speed to 80mph. The wife still added, “I want the house and the money too, oh…

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Read JokeSpeedy Couple