Pee Jokes - page 2

Pee in a Cup

Q- How does a turtle carry a fox, an egg and a chicken over a bridge, without the fox eating the chicken and the chicken eating corn? A- The turtle carries the chicken over first. Then it carries the corn over, but brings the chicken back. Then leaves the chicken and carries the wolf over. Then it carries the chicken over.

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speeding nuns

There were four nuns in a car one day and the highway patrolman pulled them over. The highway patrolman went up to the nun that was driving and asked if she had any idea how fast she was going. The nun replied, “I always go one under the speed limit so I was going 28 mph.” The state patrolman replied, “Sister you’re on 29 and the speed limit is 55.” The patrolman looked back and saw one of the nuns…

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Speeding Senior Citizen…..

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some actually join in… one day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and a man stepped out with his arm stretched out… “Stop!” he said in…

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Likee Soupee?

Back in the 1920’s, Americans were not yet accustomed to strangers of particularly exotic appearance, and when Wellington Koo served as Chinese representative at the Washington Conference in 1921, he was much more a curiosity than he would have been a generation later. At one social function, a Washington lady found herself next to Koo and was utterly unable to think of a thing to say. Finally, after the soup, she nerved herself to ask, in very clear tones so…

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Whos got the biggest peepee?

There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. ?I know,? he said, ?we can play, ?Who’s Got the Biggest Pee Pee??. ?How do you play that?? asked the redneck. ?It’s easy” said the Spanish boy, ?we can play it next recess.? So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. ?Alright,? said…

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Pee-Wee’s Day in Court

Pee-Wee walked into court alone and walked up to the Defendant’s table. When the Judge came out, he looked around and said “Mr. Herman, are you here by yourself? With all your money, I would think that you have a string of lawyers”. Pee-Wee responded “Lawyer, I don’t need a lawyer – I can get myself off”…

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The guy with the Speech Impediment

There was a guy with a speech impediment, and he went into a grocery store, and said, “Do you have any bum?” And then guy behind the counter said, “Bum, what’s bum?” The other guy says, “Bum, you know that stuff you put in your mouth and chew.” The guy behind the counter says, “Oh, you mean gum!” And the guy with the speech impediment says, “Ya, bum.” So, he buys his gum and goes to a hardware store, and…

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Little Johnny gotta pee

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a pee!!” The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.” Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re…

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