Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young American arriving in England in 1961 for postgraduate study at Oxford went to visit American-born poet T. S. Eliot. As he was leaving, he noticed that the poet was apparently searching for the right remark with which to bid him farewell. “Forty years ago I went from Harvard to Oxford,” Eliot began. There was a prolonged pause while the younger man waited breathlessly for the poet’s words of wisdom. Finally Eliot said, “Have you any long underwear?”
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A young friend of Albert Einstein’s proudly presented his eighteen-month-old son to the great scientist. The child looked up into the old man’s smiling face and promptly began to howl. Einstein patted him on the head and said fondly, “You’re the first person for years who has told me what you really think of me.”
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A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.” With that, the father went to the telephone an dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?” The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin.…
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silverwalls which could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this, Father?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life; I don’t know what it is.” While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady…
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Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff have had their share of memorable calls — inquiries that stand out from the crowd because they’re heartwarming or amusing. We asked some of the veteran staff members to tell us their favorites; plus, we rounded up a bunch of our own personal favorites from the Talk-Line archives. Its hard to beat the call from a trucker who planned to cook his Thanksgiving turkey on the engine of his truck (“Will it…
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There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…
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A young, lonely guy driving across the country decided to pick up a stunning, blonde hitchhiker. A few miles into the trek, the blonde started coming onto him, so needless to say, he pulled over to the side of the desolate, deserted road so she could give him some oral pleasure. Once his pants were down around his ankles, the blonde surprised him with a gun and bound his wrists to his ankles. Then, she robbed him of his wallet…
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A couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus, and by chance their seats were next to the elephant pen. When his father left to buy popcorn, the boy piped up, “Mom, what’s that long thing on the elephant? “That’s the elephant’s trunk, dear,” she replied. “No, not that.” “Oh, that’s the elephant’s tail.” “No, Mom. Down underneath.” His mother blushed and said, “Oh, that’s nothing.” Pretty soon the father returned, and the mother went off…
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Clifton Fadiman had occasion to visit the kindergarten class of a highly progressive school attended by his son, Jonathan. The children were engaged in “rhythmic play,” where they were following the lead of their teacher, an energetic young woman, who danced about the room clapping her hands in time to the music of a record player. The docile pupils staggled behind her in ragged fashion. Later Fadiman drew his son aside and said, “I guess you have lots of fun…
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How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done! CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help…
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