stupid hubby
A man returns home early from a business trip to find his wife in bed with another man. He yells, “What on earth are you doing?!!” The wife then turns to the other man and says, “See I told you he was stupid.”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Yell Jokes - page 26
The religious horse
A man buys a horse and is unable to get it to move. He kicked it, yelled giddy up, but to no avail. He goes back to the seller and voices his displeasure. The seller says, “I’m terribly sorry. I forgot to tell you that this is a religious horse and to get it to run you have to say ‘Jesus Christ’ and to get it to stop you have to say ‘Amen’.” So, knowing this the new owner goes…
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CPR
A five-year-old boy walks into his parents’ bedroom just as his full-chested mom is about to put on her bra. “What are those, Mommy?” he asks, pointing to her breasts. “Oh, those are balloons, Jimmy. When women die, they inflate and float you up to Heaven.” The following week, Jimmy runs into the kitchen where his mother is preparing lunch. “Mommy, come quick, Aunt Betty is dying!” cries the little boy. “What do you mean she’s dying??” asks Mommy. “She’s…
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Computer Camp
Dear Jenny, Ann Landers wouldn’t print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It’s about my son, Billy. He’s always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire,…
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tribe cheater
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He thinks that the one thing he never did was to teach these natives how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and tells the chief, “This is a tree.” The chief looks at the tree and grunts, “Tree.” The…
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offended
A man walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are jerks!” Upon hearing this a man at the other end of the bar storms up to the man and belts, “You’ve offended me!!” “Why,” the first man asked, “are you a lawyer?” “No, I’m a jerk!”
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Hans and Stein
Hans and Stein were playing in their yard in Zurich when one of the boys accidentally swallowed a coin and started choking. Hans ran inside to get help, yelling, “MOM! DAD! COME QUICK! THERE’S A FRANC IN STEIN!”
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wacky thoughts
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him – Is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?” When you open a bag of cotton balls,…
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An Ode to spring
This poem was written by Mary C. Johnson age 93 of Southfield Nursing home, for a thanks to a doctor that saved her from a disease. The sun was shining brightly, And I could hardly wait, To raise my breakfast window, And gaze upon God’s estate. The breeze was blowing gently, And it brushed the flowers away, All the nature was enchanting, Upon this lovely day. My eyes fell upon a little bird, With a tender yellow bill, Who was…
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spot
Why did the White House name their dog Lucky? So nobody would be running around the White House yelling, “Cum Spot! Cum Spot!”
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