Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two little kids in a hospital who were laying next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks “What are you in here for?” The second kid says “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It’s…
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A 90 year old man married a very young woman. Upon staying for 6 months together the wife of this old man conceived. The old man asked his doctor, “How this could have happened?” The doctor then said, “Look here, let me tell you a story.” An absent minded hunter went in the forest hunting; but instead of carrying a gun the fellow carried an umbrella. He saw a lion running straight at him. The hunter picked up his umbrella…
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Two lesbians walk into a bar, and take a seat on a couple of barstools. After a moment, the bartender notices them, and comes over. “We’ll have a couple of 14 year-old’s,” says one of them. The bartender looks at them disgustedly, and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors to liquors.”
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There is a brunette, a blonde, and a red head riding in an elevator when a man walks in the elevator. He rides for a minute then gets off. The red head says, “Did you see that guys head?” Then the brunette says, “Yeah, I want to give him some head and shoulders!” Then the blonde askes, “How do you give shoulders?”
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God created the mule and told him, “you are mule. You will work constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.” The mule answered, “To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 30.” And it was so. Then God created the dog and told him, “You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of…
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NAME:____________ GANG:____________ 1. Johnny has an AK47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each driveby shooting, how many driveby shootings can he attend before he has to reload? 2. Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 a day crack habit? 3. Jerome wants to cut his…
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1. Marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring wedding ring suffering 2. Marriages are made in heaven… Then again, so are thunder and lightning 3. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The problem is WHICH ONE? 4. Marriage is not a word. It is a life long exclamation. 5. Marriage is when fantasy wins over reality. Reality bites! 6. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.…
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Coming back from a month-long business trip to Asia, a wealthy businessman arrived at the airport where he was fetched by his chauffeur named Jim. On the long drive home, the businessman inquired, “So, Jim, has anything happened while I was away?” Jim replied, “No, sir. I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.” The businessman said, “Come now, Jim. I have been away for almost a month. Surely something must have happened in all that time.” Thinking for…
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There were three blondes on a building and each one of them was going to commit suicide because they couldn’t take anymore blonde jokes. The first blonde jumps and it takes 3 months to scrape her off of the side walk. The second blonde jumps and it takes 6 months to scrape all of her off the road. Finally the 3rd blonde jumps and lands on a seatless bycicle, and it takes 5 years to get the smile off of…
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A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy. The little boy says, “It sure is dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball.” Man – “That’s nice.” Boy – “Want to buy it?”…
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