Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Marriage is definitely not a man’s idea. A woman must have thought of it. Years ago some guy said, “Let me get this straight, Honey. I can’t sleep with anyone else for the rest of my life. And if things don’t work out, you get to keep half my stuff? What a great idea!”
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Tips For Yankees 1.) Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. 2.) If you forget a Southerner’s name, refer to him (or her) as Bubba. You have a 50% of being right. 3.) Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 4.) If you do run your car in a ditch, don’t panic. Four men…
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.” You’re never 36 and a half . . . You’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number.…
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.” You’re never 36 and a half….you’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number. “How old are you?”…
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German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber net. Israeli scientists…
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One afternoon I rushed out of the house, forgetting my keys, and found myself locked out. There was nothing I could do but wait for my husband to come home. I went over to a neighbor, who was outside raking leaves. “You locked yourself out?” he asked. “Yeah, and this is the second time I’ve done that since we moved in. After the first time, we took an extra key and put it in a jar, then stuck it in…
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There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: “Hello?” “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” “Yes.” “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?” “What’s the price?” “Only $1,500.” “Well,…
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An old guy comes up to a man and says, “Hi Mikey.” The man replies, “I’m not Mikey!” OLD GUY : Mikey, 50 years ago you were a black man and now you’re pale white. What happen to you? THE MAN : I’m not Mikey! OLD GUY : Mikey 50 years ago you were short and fat, and now you’re tall and skinny. What happen to you? THE MAN : I’m not Mikey! Finally, the old guy says, “YOU EVEN…
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There was this 34 year old woman who had a crush on a 18 year old bag boy at a local store. So one day she finally got the nerve up to tell him her feelings about him. She went to the store and the boy brought her bags out to her car. She leaned over to him and said, “I have an itchy pussy.” Then the boy told her, “Ma’m, all foreign cars look the same to me.”
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So I went in for my regular checkup. I’m 34 years old now and my doctor thought it would be a good idea to check me out down below. I was not prepared for us to get that intimate, but I agreed to a rectal exam. My doctor proceeded to probe around and the whole time I could not stop thinking, “Maybe it’s time I found a new dentist.”
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