Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The bank manager noticed the new clerk was something of an idiot at counting money and adding up figures. “Where did you get your finance education?” he asked. “Yale,” replied the lad. “And what’s your name?” asked the manager. “Yim Yohnston,” he replied.
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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City.” Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, “Take this silken robe…
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It was a hot day in Mississippi and Helga, the family’s German housekeeper, had hung the wash outside to dry, baked a strudel and then went into town to pick up dry-cleaning and buy groceries. “Gootness zakes”, she thought to herself as she walked to the cleaners, “It sure iss hodt.” As she happened to pass a tavern, she pictured a frosty cold drink, so she went inside and sat down at the bar. “Afternoon, Maam,” smiled the friendly bartender.…
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One day there were 3 amateurs and a pro playing golf. They went up to the first tee, and the pro went first. He hit it right on the green, 300 yards away. Then one of the amateurs went up to the tee and it sliced to the right. He asked the pro, “What causes that?” “LOFT,” he replied. Then the next amateur went up and sliced it to the left. He asked, “What causes that?” And the pro answered,…
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A man is walking down the beach and sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie merges. She says, “Normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you SOB, I am going to grant only 1.” He thinks a minute and says “OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed.” She says “So be it!” and…
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One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…
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With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society….. DIRECTRA: a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. PROJECTRA: men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting…
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Q. What do you do when you see your ex-wife stagger in the backyard? A. Reload.
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A couple is doing yard work and the wife goes to take a shower. Her husband is looking for the rake and can’t find it. He yells up to his wife, “Where’s the rake?” She shakes her head and cups her hand behind her ear to show that she can’t hear him. So he points to his eye (I), hits his knee (need), then makes raking motions. She replies by pointing to her eye, grabbing her left breast, slapping her…
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There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cutoffs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part. The couple would leave the ceremony in…
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