X ray Jokes - page 17

Some abbreviations for the Chatrooms

\_/ \_/………………..Soda (~~)? (~~)3…………Coffee mugs (_)?……….Tea cups (fine china) [%]D..Hot cocoa w/mini marshmallows (#$#$#$#$#$).Plate of hash browns and onions [:::] [:::]………Poptarts for all (sgeg)===……Pan of scrambled eggs >> @–>–>– ……………….A rose ())))___crayola___)))>…..Crayolas (::waving::)……………..Waving {{{screen name here}}}…..Personal Cyber hugs {{{ }}}…………..Lots of Hugs 🙂 …………………….Smile or :o) ……with round nose (:D) ………………….Big Grin :o…………………….Surprised :O………………REALLY Surprised :D……………..Laughing/smiling :oD…………………..with nose :+ or :o+………………Kiss :* or :o*………………Whistle 😉 or ;o)………………Wink 😡 or :ox…….My lips are sealed }:(……………………..Mad 🙁 or :o(………………Frown :'( or :,(…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSome abbreviations for the Chatrooms

Chicken of the Living Dead?

Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago. According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking. The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the neighbors. But, there were no chickens anywhere. Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming from…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeChicken of the Living Dead?

Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeYo mamma — THE LIST

Star Wars Pants

25 Lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word “Pants”: 1) A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master. 2) You are unwise to lower your pants. 3) We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down. 4) She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeStar Wars Pants

Waving rabbit

One day Roy was driving along when suddenly he spotted a rabbit in the middle of the road. He tried to swerve, but still ended up hitting it. Visibly shaken, Roy got out of the car and started weeping over what he had done. A few minutes later, a woman stops and asks him why he’s crying over the rabbit. “Because I killed it,” he replies. The woman took a closer look and says, “It’s still breathing. I can fix…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWaving rabbit

Bridge the Communication Gap

A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she replied, “Yessir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked! They played a game called ‘Bridge,’ and last night a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring in refreshments, I heard a man say, ‘Lay down and let’s see what you got.’ Another man said, ‘I got strength and no length.’ And…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBridge the Communication Gap

Funny from the Headlines

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFunny from the Headlines

What Men Really Mean

“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhat Men Really Mean

Signs You are Addicted to Wrestling

You light your bed on fire and fight your brother in it. Your teacher gives you detention, so you give him a Stone Cold Stunner and walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers. You leapfrog over people while playing football, then you turn around and clothesline them. You publish a shirt that says ‘Jay Leno 1-0 Who’s Next.’ Every time you sit down at a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault onto…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSigns You are Addicted to Wrestling

Instructions For Microsoft’s New TV Dinner Product

You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is. If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeInstructions For Microsoft’s New TV Dinner Product