Woman one Jokes - page 42

Where do babies come from ??

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby…

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The little boy and the duck

It was back in the olden times when you drove carriages not cars. A little boy and his father lived outside of the town. The father told his son, he had to go to town and sell his pet duck because they needed the money. So the little boy is walking in the town and he is looking depressed and a woman is standing on the street and notices him. She walks up to him and says, “Why don?t you…

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Blondes and Trees

A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde driver. “Ma’am, is there a reason that you’re weaving all over the road?” The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree…

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Butterball Turkey Talk-Line’s Greatest Hits

Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff have had their share of memorable calls — inquiries that stand out from the crowd because they’re heartwarming or amusing. We asked some of the veteran staff members to tell us their favorites; plus, we rounded up a bunch of our own personal favorites from the Talk-Line archives. Its hard to beat the call from a trucker who planned to cook his Thanksgiving turkey on the engine of his truck (“Will it…

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urban myths?

INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…

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Questions never to ask

One day a little boy by the name Timothy who was about 6 years old went to his mom and asked her, “How old are you?” The mom said, “There are some things you should never ask a woman and that is one of them. You will understand when you get older.” Then the boy asked his mom, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?” The mom replied, “Like I said, there are some things you should never ask a woman…

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Politically-Correct Little Red Riding Hood

There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…

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Bedroom Surprises

A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on. One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo. She said, “Honey, is this what you’ve been using all this time? How could you…

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3 Men and a Genie

Three men were walking through an alley when they spotted a genie lamp. They rubbed it vigorously to see what would happen. The genie came out and said, “I am the Genie of the lamp. Since there are three of you, you will each have one wish.” They all thought long and hard then the first guy said, “I want to be 10% smarter.” *POOF* he’s 10% smarter. Well the second guy wanted to top the first. He wanted to…

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Reverse Psychology

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for awhile?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I WON’T sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and…

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Read JokeReverse Psychology