Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A customer was continually bothering a waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot. Then he asked for it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walked back and forth and never once got angry. So, finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t just throw out the pest. “Oh, I don’t care,…
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Two Polish guys are discussing one of the guy’s upcoming wedding . . . “I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not,” he said. His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one of your balls red and the other blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says, ‘Those are the funniest balls I’ve ever seen!’ you hit…
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A guy boards his plane for Pittsburg and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, “Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes. Do you mind if I ask you how you got yours?” The other guy replies, “Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the hugest breasts…
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Farmer Dan buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for bacon, ham, etc… After a few weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and he calls the vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn’t have the slightest clue as to what this means, but not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs became pregnant. The vet…
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Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now, he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.” “Excuse me?” the accountant said. “I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry…
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One day, a man was taking a piss in a public bathroom when this midget comes walking in. The midget comes next to the man with a ladder and sets it up beside the man and climbs up. By this time, the man is a little curious. The midget then looks up and says, “Wow sir, those are nice balls, can I touch em?” The man both confused and flattered replies “OK.” The midget then takes a firm grasp and…
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After several hours of cramming, Lazlo felt totally confident that he would do well on his zoology exam. He sat in the front of the lecture hall and waitied for the professor to hand out the test. The professor rolled out a large cage with birds perched across in a straight line, fully covered except for their legs. “You’re test is to tell me what the name of each bird is only by looking at their legs,” announced the professor.…
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It’s common practice in England to ring a telephone by sending extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in England). When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signaled without disturbing each other. Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that…
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Three women were all applying for a position in the accounting department. The interviewer asked each of them this question: “If you were to find $100,000, what would you do with it?” The first woman said that she would give it all back. The second woman said that she would give half back and keep half for herself. The third woman said that she would keep all the money. Which woman got the job? The one one with the biggest…
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This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO’s Land Operations/Simulation division. They’ve been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaissance Helicopters into exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers. Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they…
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