Wit Jokes - page 100

A young lady was eating lunch alone at a restaurant and couldn’t help overhearing a discussion among four men at a neighboring table. Said the first man, “Just spell it the simplest possible way—W-O-O-M.” “There’s a B in it, you dope,” said the second. “It’s spelled W-O-O-M-B.” “You don’t have enough letters,” objected the third. “I think it ought to be spelled W-O-O-O-M-M-B.” “Nonsense,” said the fourth. “It’s ridiculous to put in all those letters. Besides, there’s a final R.…

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Hank was a not-too-smart kind of guy. Every day when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three men who would beat him up and steal his money. Finally, Hank decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn’t happen again. He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well defending himself. So, one day, on the way home from work,…

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A health inspector walks up to a hot dog stand and orders a hot dog. The vendor grabs a hot dog with his dirty hands, slaps it in a bun and gives it to the inspector. The inspector says “This is a recipe for disease. I’m a health inspector and am closing you down. You have 3 weeks to get your act together.” The health inspector returns in 3 weeks and orders another hot dog. The vendor uses clean tongs…

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A Canadian is having his petit dejeuner (coffee croissants: bread, butter and jam) when an American man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Canadian ignores the American, who, nevertheless, starts a converstion. American: “You Canada folk eat the whole bread?” Canandian: (In a bad mood): “Of course.” American: (After blowing a huge bubble) “We don’t. In the States, we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell…

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The teacher said to her students: “Who can give me a sentence with the word sugar in it?” A student raised his hand. “Yes.” “I drank tea last night.” “Where is the word sugar?” the teacher asked. “It melted in the tea.”

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