Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: “In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an Ark.” And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. “OK,” said Noah, trembling in fear and…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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This is an excerpt from a Mulls & Boot story, set in the South Island of New Zealand. WARNING, this is steamy stuff. You either need to read this curled-up on a sofa with an exotic drink or with a cold shower close-by………. We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon.The warm breeze was full of that earthy musky scent that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and quiet…
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God looks down on earth and decides he’s had enough. With a crack of thunder, He summons to heaven the three most powerful people on Earth: Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates. “Gentlemen,” God says. “I have called you here because I am truly disappointed in humans and decided to end the world. You have one week to prepare your people. With a crack of thunder, God sends all three back to Earth. Bill Clinton calls together his Cabinet…
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TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked. Bring beer.
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Some say lawyers get a raw deal: There’s always another joke around the corner. A NASA official is interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one can go, and he can’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, is asked how much he wants to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answers, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, is asked the same question. He asks for $2 million. “I…
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A Programmer and an Engineer A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun.…
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A guy dies and goes to heaven. It?s a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, ?I?m not very busy today, why don?t you let me show you around?? The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks.…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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