Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
See there was these three guys in a strip joint. There was a lawyer, policeman, and a banker. There was a lady dancing in front of them. So the lawyer said ” Watch this!” He grabbed a 20 dollar bill and licked it and put it on her left butt cheek and she started to dance for him. So the policeman said “No watch this!” He grabbed a 50 dollar bill and licked it and put it on her left…
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I read of a man who stood to speak At the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombsone From the beginning…to the end. He noted that first came her date of birth And spoke the following date with tears, But he said what mattered most of all Was the dash between those years. (1900-1970) For that dash represents all the time That she spent alive on earth.. And now only those who loved her Know…
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“I love cats…they taste just like chicken” “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” “Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death” “Cover me. I’m changing lanes.” “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in publicschools” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” “Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.” “Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.” “REHAB is for quitters” “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!” “Sometimes I…
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What is the difference between a man and a dog? I see you can’t think of anything either.
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This old man of eighty years goes to the doctor and says, “You know, doc, when I was twenty and got a hard on I could push on it with both hands and I couldn’t even bend it… When I was thirty and got a hard on I could push on it with both hands and I could just barely bend it…. Now that I’m eighty and occasionally I get hard I can push on it with only one hand…
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Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’” said the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, “Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the…” “I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did…
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Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: How old is your son-the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He…
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A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing with that dog?” One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So…
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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him. He inquired of God, “Where were you?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. “Look son, look what I’ve made”. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” God replied, “It’s a planet and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’ve named it Earth and there is a balance between everything on…
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British conductor and organist Sir Malcolm Sargent was chief conductor at the London Promenade Concerts during the last century, and did much to bring classical music alive for younger audiences. As he was preparing to leave the Albert Hall in London after a concert one evening, Sir Malcolm overheard the following brief exchange between two young girls: “How I envy Sir Malcolm.” “You mean his conducting?” “Oh, no, not that. I mean his neat little flat behind.”
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