Wee wee Jokes - page 89

Love of the Game

A Boston man sits on his living room couch watching the American League Championship Series between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees. In comes his wife, huffing and puffing, and stands in front of the television screen. At that exact moment, Red Sox shortstop, Nomar Garciaparra, hits a two-run homer. “Stan!” she yelled. “I think you love the Red Sox more than you love me.” “You know what?” the said, full of rage. “Right now I love…

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Lost and Found?

An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. “Am I glad to see you!” he said. “I’ve been lost for three days.” “Don’t get too excited friend,” the other hunter replied. “I’ve been lost for three weeks.”

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It begins with MEN

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all our problems start with MEN? Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a sixpack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet? A: Because…

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Cold Day

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy on cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, “My hands are freezing cold.” The mother replied, “Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up.” So the daughter did and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend and he said “My hands are freezing cold.” The daughter replied, “Put them between my legs, they’ll…

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Drunken Excuses

There was a cop that had pulled a man over when he appeared to be drinking and driving. The cop told him that he was going to have to take a breathalyzer test and the man replied “I can’t do that, I have asthma and can’t hardly breath anyway. The cop said “Well, I guess we will have to go down to the station and get some blood drawn”. The man said “No, I can’t do that, I am anemia…

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Minister Doing It Differently

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, I am going to say a single word, and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross.” Immediately, the congregation started singing in unison, “The Old Rugged Cross.” The pastor hollered out, “Grace.” The congregation began to sing, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.” The…

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DOCTORS’ NOTES ON PATIENT CHARTS

(ACTUAL NOTES–UNEDITED!): 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1997. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also…

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