Wee wee Jokes - page 8

With the Christmas season approaching, please look into your heart to help those in need. Hundreds of National Basketball Association players in our very own country are living at or below the seven-figure salary level. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks- possibly a whole year as a result of the current lock-out situation. But now you can help! For only $20,835.46 a month, about 694.50 a day (that’s less than…

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The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with…

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by Dave Berry 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”. 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with…

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The clerk showed the fellow the store’s most expensive perfume. “This is called ‘Perhaps’,” said the sales clerk. “It’s $285 per ounce.” “Listen,” the fellow shot back, “for $285 an ounce, I don’t want something called ‘Perhaps’ — I want something called, ‘You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You’ll Get Some!’”

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A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip. Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling out his Visa application. The border official looks over his shoulder and sees the tourist trying to write “Twice a week” into the small space labeled “SEX.” The official explains, “No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question. We are asking ‘Male’ or Female’.” “Doesn’t matter,” the tourist answers.

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