Wall to wall Jokes - page 16

Wrong Bitch

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…

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Read JokeWrong Bitch

You’ve been WAITING for THIS one!

A Jehova’s Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint, high pitched, “Come In”. He tried the door and it was locked, so he went around to the back door. He knocked again and heard again the high pitched “Come In”. As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him. As he plastered himself against the wall he called out for help. Again, he heard the “Come In”. He slid down the…

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Read JokeYou’ve been WAITING for THIS one!

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.. PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna…

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Read JokeChristmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

This REALLY happened!!!!!

(Colorado Springs) A Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “I don’t believe you are over 21. ” The robber said he was, but the…

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Read JokeThis REALLY happened!!!!!

Spiritous Liquors

A deputation of concerned women came to Winston Churchill in order to protest his overconsumption of spiritous liquors. They said, “Mr. Churchill, if all the spirits you have drunk in your life were poured into this room, they would fill it to here.” Churchill regarded the imaginary line they had traced on the wall, and his eyes then went up to the ceiling, and he sighed, “So much to do, so little done.”

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Read JokeSpiritous Liquors

Hmmm?

I saw a news report that said 90% of all accidents occur within 10 miles of home…So, I’ve decided to move. I couldn’t decide whether to by a humidifier or a de-humidifier. So, I bought one of each and put them in the same room. I’m gonna just let them fight it out. They built a freeway around my house. Now I have to drive 55 mph down my driveway. I got a dog last week, and I named him…

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Bidding War

Bidding for various objects was proceeding furiously, when the auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000.” There was a moment’s silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry: “Two Thousand Five Hundred!!!”

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Read JokeBidding War

Tomorrow Will Be Fine

A man enters a Barber Shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client places the ball in his mouth and proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks…

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Read JokeTomorrow Will Be Fine

Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Read JokeYo mamma — THE LIST