Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This drunk walks into a bar and asks the bartender to give him a ride home. The bartender tells the drunk he’d better ask someone else. He walks over to a waitress and asks her for a ride. she agreed to. As they walked out she warned him that she was on her menstrual cycle. The drunk said ” Baby, I don’t care what you’re on just as long as you gimme a ride home.”
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Sick and tired of hearing all those nasty blonde jokes and of how all blondes are perceived to be dumb, this blonde is determined to show her husband that blondes are really smart. While her husband is off to work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 pm…
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There’s a man walking home alone at night, and there is a “BUMP…BUMP…BUMP” behind him. He walks faster and looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging it’s way down the middle of the street towards him… “BUMP … BUMP…BUMP…” The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces after him faster…faster…BUMPBUMPBUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door… locks it…and the coffin crashes through his door and…
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A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that??!!” “Oh,” replies the husband, “that was my mistress.” The wife says, “That’s it; I want a divorce.” “I understand,” replies her husband, “but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be…
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Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he…
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Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says, “Hello class, I’m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an “r” after the first letter.” The entire class says, “Hello Mrs. Prussy.” A few days later the regular teacher is still sick. When Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is. Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, “I Remember it has…
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An incompentent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills. He figures that the only way he’s going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren’t too bright and change his phoney money for real cash. He travels to a small town in West Virginia and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store.…
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Moses and Jesus are part of a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulls up to the tee and drives a long one. The ball lands on the fairway, but rolls directly toward a water trap. Quickly, Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It lands right in the center…
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A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?” The guy says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” He then pulls a little 3 inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks, “You mean to say,…
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Father O’Malley has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married, and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So he decides to go to the United States before he is too old to enjoy it. He hops on a plane bound for Nevada. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, “ELVIS!…
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