Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A carpet layer had worked all day installing wall-to-wall carpeting. He noticed a lump under the carpet in the middle of the living room, he felt his shirt pocket for his cigarettes–they were gone. He was not about to pull the carpet back up, so he went outside for a two-by-four. Stamping down cigarettes with it would be easy. Once the lump was smoothed, the man gathered up his tools and carried them to his truck. Then two things happened…
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There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farmhand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farmhand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. “No!” yelled the farmer, “Don’t throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they’re delicious! They’re called Sheep Fries!” The farmhand saved the parts and took them to the farmer’s wife who cooked them up for…
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One day, Jesus and his disciples were walking down the streets of Heaven and Jesus tripped over a old Man. He asked the old man what was the matter. He said when he was alive on earth, he had a son. So Jesus asked him to describe his son. He said that he is very polite and has holes in his hands and feet. ” Father ?!” Jesus said. The old man looked up and said ” PINOCCHIO?!!!”
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Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…
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A teacher in class one day was asking students what they did at recess. First, she called on a little white boy named Timmy and asked him. He replied, “I played in the sand box”. The teacher said, “Good, now if you can spell ‘sand’ I’ll give you a fresh baked cookie”. He did and he received his reward. Next, the teacher called on a litte white girl named Suzy and asked her what she did. She said “I played…
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Russian Vodka A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, “Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want.” The Russian begins thinking, “Well I really like drinking vodka.” Finally the Russian says, “I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka.” The Genie grants him his wish.…
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A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office. “Things aren’t going too well, guys,” he announced grimly. “So to perk up sales I’m announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job.” “What does the loser get?” asked one of the salesmen. The owner looked at both men and said, “The loser gets to give it.”
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A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” “What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him,…
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Hershel Ostropolier (a Jewish wit of the 17th century) is walking home one Friday afternoon, taking a shortcut through the forest. A bandit, brandishing a pistol, jumps out and says, “Give me your money or I’ll shoot you dead!” Hershel pleads with the man, “My wife will never believe that I’ve been robbed. She’ll think I just spent the money in a tavern. She’ll kill me if you don’t!” The robber replies, “That’s no difference to me. Give me your…
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