Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was this guy named Joe Shitz. He lived his whole life with this peculiar name, and he finally decided to have it legally changed. He told his friend “I was tired of everyone making fun of my name. I decided to finally do something about it.” His friend asked “So what did you change your name to?” He replied “I changed it to Melvin Shitz. I was tired of everone saying “What d’ya know, Joe.”
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Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. “You understand it now?” Mommy asks. “Yes,” replies her daughter. “Do you still have any questions?” “Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?” “In exactly the same way as with babies.” “Wow!” the girl exclaims. “My daddy can do ANYTHING!”
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A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, “But, sir, I can see from up here you’re at least a size 11.” The guy says, “Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe.” The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. He says to the salesman, “I lost my business and my house, I…
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a pee!!” The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.” Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re…
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One day this little boy goes up to his grandpa and says, “Grandpa can you do me a favor?” “What do you want?” “Can you talk like a frog for me?” “What? No.” Then his granddaughter goes up to him and says, “Grandpa can you do me a favor?” “What is it? I’ll do anything for you my little munchkin.” “Can you talk like a frog?” “What? No. Why do you and your brother want me to talk like a…
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These first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color from the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted, and a little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because I was adopted.” “What does it mean to be adopted?” asked another child. “It means,” said the little girl, “that I grew in my mommy’s heart instead of in her tummy.”
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I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it. I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. If it…
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs: at your doorstep? Matt under a car? Jack hanging on the wall? Art floating in the ocean? Bob up in a tree? Russell
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Why It’s GREAT To Be A Guy Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Foreplay is optional. You…
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A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, “Yes I have a phone.” The driver of the Yugo says, “Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I’ve…
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