Wa wa Jokes - page 408

While the U.S. stock market was at an all-time high, the ups and downs frightened a lot of small investors. A guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and asked if he were worried. He replied that he slept like a baby. He was amazed and asked, “Really? Even with all the fluctuations?” He said, “Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours.”

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After 40 years, Mother finally got her citizenship papers and proudly registered to vote. Well, Mother received a notice to report for jury duty; and, to our surprise, was not only selected for a jury, but was elected the foreman. It was a criminal case. A husband had shot his wife’s lover, but only grazed his arm. The jury was out for over four hours before returning. Everyone waited with bated breath, as the judge asked my mother whether the…

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A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?” The waiter replied, “Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant… He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the…

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A newspaper reporter for the Los Angeles Times had received instructions from his senior editor to get photographs of a brush fire in the foothills of northern California. The instructions included hurrying to the Santa Monica Airport to board a small plane, taking some photos of the fire, and hurrying back by noon to meet a deadline. The reporter dressed quickly, rushed to the airport, saw the small plane waiting on the runway, drove his car to the end of…

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