Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This was on The Tonight Show September 7, 1999 Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The following won. She said it was snowing and cold and the guy took her skiing. It was just a day trip. They had never been out together before. The day went OK until they were coming back that afternoon. They were driving home and she suddenly had to pee urgently, but still…
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Four major airlines have announced that they’re going to raise summer air-fares another four percent… That’s to help pay for more of those tiny pretzels. Which, by the way, can also be used as flotation devices.
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One hot, summer afternoon in Alabama, Ma and Pa are sitting on the porch swing, rocking to and fro. Then Pa turns to Ma and says, “Screw you, Ma.” A minute passes by when Ma says to Pa, “Screw you, Pa.” Another minute passes by and Pa says to Ma, “Screw you, Ma.” Again another minute passes by and Ma says to Pa, “Screw you, Pa.” After a couple of minutes pass by, Pa says to Ma, “You know something,…
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An old man had never been to the doctors before but something went wrong and he had to go. As he stepped into the doctors office a snotty receptionist slid back her window and said can I help you? He said I’d like to see the doctor. Well sir whats wrong with you. Not knowing any better he said, somethings wrong with my dick. She got mad an reminded him of women and kids in the office. She said you…
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WHY DO HUNTERS MAKE BETTER LOVERS ” because they go deep in the bush,they shoot more than once and they always eat what they shoot.”
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True Story: I went to lunch at an Olive Garden restaurant with a group of co-workers one day. One of the guys who went with us, Ilya, is a Russian immigrant who is still working on his English skills. I had been encouraging him to use more American idiomatic expressions and slang. The waitress at the restaurant seemed very nervous. When she brought out the drinks she spilled them all over the table. Of course everyone broke out laughing. Except…
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A doctor walks up to a teller to pay a bill at the bank. He reaches into his top pocket to pull out a pen to sign a cheque but instead pulls out a rectal thermometer. The teller looks at him strangely as the doctorsays, “some asshole has got my pen.”
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Did you know that it costs forty thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty thousand bucks a piece I’ll take a few prisoners into my house. I sometimes live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don’t think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don’t want to run, they…
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Three men were in a bar getting drunk,an Italian,a German and an Irishman Well the bartender told them that if they bought 6 beers they’d get 2 beers free The Italian jumps up and says thats ridiculous back home at Vinnie’s bar you buy 4 beers and he’ll give you 2 free beers! The German stand up and shouts “thats crazy, back home at Wilhelm’s if you buy 2 beers you get 6 beers for free!” Well the Irishman jumps…
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There was this happily married couple that decided to have a baby. After nine hard long months the mother finally started having contractions and it was time to go to the hospital. The mother was really scared of all the pain she was going to go through so she told the doctors that she wanted all the drugs she could get. The head doctor said, “We have designed a new device that transfers the pain from the mother of the…
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