Wa wa Jokes - page 342

Skinny Dipping

Under a leaden sun, two vacationing secretaries were riding bicycles. When they found a cool river by lush green trees, the gals stopped to swim in the only bathing suits they had brought . . . nothing at all! After a refreshing swim, to dry off, they did limbering exercises. Suddenly, the noise of a loud motor was heard, and the nude nymphs jumped behind two of the trees. Thirty seconds later, an Army jeep pulled up alongside the road.…

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Missing Brandy

Mr. Harris was complaining to his brother that someone in his household had been drinking his most expensive brandy on the sly everyday but he had no idea as to who the culprit was. So they discussed the list of usual suspects. They discounted Mr. Harris’ chauffeur as he was with Mr. Harris all the time. They also left out Mr. Harris’ housecleaning maid who came to clean the house only thrice a week. So they narrowed the list down…

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The Difference Between Potential and Reality

Last week my son came up to me and asked me the difference between potential and reality. I told him to go to his mum and ask if she’d sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars, and then to go to his sister, and ask if she’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. He did just that. He went up to my wife and said, “Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million?” to which she…

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$50 or I’ll Bite

A girl had devised a device to cause any car that passed in front of her house to suddenly break down but couldn’t find any practical way to profit from it. So, thinking clearly, she set up the device, and as the cars passed the house and broke down, she’d offer the man in the car a place to stay for the night. Then as soon as the man was asleep, he’d be jarred awake by her with his penis…

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Little Johnny Strikes Again

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Little Johnny waves his hand, “Me, miss, me, me!” Teacher says “All right, little Johnny, what is your multi- syllable word?” Little Johnny says “Mas-tur-bate.” Teacher smiles and says “Wow, little Johnny, that’s a mouthful.” Little Johnny says “No, miss, you’re thinking of a blowjob. I’m talking about a wank.”

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New Teacher

A certain elementary school got a new teacher. This new teacher was an atheist and proud of it. In fact, he was always talking about it, and since the kids were fairly young, he intimidated them. One day he boldly announced, “My mother was an atheist, my father was an atheist and I’m an atheist. How many in this room are atheists?” The kids, being a little scared of him, all raised their hands; all except one little girl. So…

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Jones & Sex

Jones, who had been away on an extended trip, had very romantic plans for his first night home. He told them to his wife, with great expectations, who promptly said, “Oh, I’m sorry, dear, but I’ve got to do all of this laundry. Another time, please.” The next night Jones tried again, and his wife said, “Oh my, I would like to dear, but it wouldn’t be any good. I’ve got this terrible headache. Please give me a rain check.”…

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