Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “Oldest trick in the book,” I informed him. “You go in to see what’s wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you…
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Why did the two hookers leave canada to go to the states to work? Because they said the canadian dollar wasn’t worth a fuck.
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A man standing on a bridge seems to be contemplating suicide. He has lost his job, his home, and his car. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an evil image with a cape appears and asks the man what his problem is. The man replies that he has nothing to live for…everything is gone. The evil image in the cape tells the man that he is the devil, and he would grant three wishes in return for a blow job under the…
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One night I had a wonderous dream, One set of footprints there were seen, the footprints of my precious Lord, but mine were not along the shore, but then some stranger prints appeared, and I asked the Lord, “What have we here? Those prints are too large and round and neat, but Lord they are too big for feet.” “My child,” He said in somber tones, “for miles I carried you alone. I challenged you to walk in faith, but…
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An alien from Alpha Centauri walks into a Martian restaurant specializing in human brains. He takes a seat and asks the waiter, “What’s your special on human brains?” “Well, we have engineer brains, doctor brains and lawyer brains,” the waiter enumerates. “Hmm. How much are the engineer brains?” “?bout 20 credits an ounce.” “That’s fair. Engineers have college education. How about the doctor brains?” “They cost around 30 credits an ounce.” “That’s also fair. Doctors have to undergo eight years…
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps all around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just…
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It’s a really busy day at work, so when the wife phones her husband, he says there just isn’t time to talk right now. “Oh, okay,” says his wife. “Just wanted to give you some news and some bad news. Do you have time for either?” The husband answers, “Well, like I said, it’s really a zoo around here. Why don’t you just quickly give me the good news, and I’ll get the bad news tonight when we’re home together?”…
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There was a doctor who always went to a certain bar & ordered the same thing – a daiquiri with crushed almonds on top. The bartender, Dick, sees him coming in and starts to make his daiquiri but realizes that he doesn’t have any crushed almonds. He asks his co-worker to run next door to the confectionary to buy more. All the guy could find were hickory nuts. He figures they’ll do, so crushes them & sprinkles them over his…
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After going through Lamaze, Leboyer, and LeLeche classes with his expectant wife, the proud new father remained by her beside throughout the labor and delivery. Wanting to be as sympathetic as possible, he took his wife’s hand afterward and said, emotionally, “Tell me how it was, Darling, how it actually felt to give birth.” “OK, Honey,” his wife replied. “Smile as big as you can.” Beaming down at his wife and child, the man followed her instructions. “That’s not hard.”…
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One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, “You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.” While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his wife with a squeeze of her breast and said, “You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra.”…
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