Wa wa Jokes - page 211

Kids’ Real Answers About Marriage

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…

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Bunny line-up

Once there was a scientific experiment that included rabbits. The scientists lined the bunnies up in a line and said, “Jump back!” and they jumped back. They did this for months. They lined the rabbits up day after day and told them to jump back and they did. Now after years of government spending for funding for the program the scientists came to the final conclusion, but they had to perform just one last test. The scientists arrived early that…

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Redneck Vasectomy

After having their 12th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger double-wide. The husband then went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children but they couldn’t afford a costly operation, either. The doctor told him that there was a home procedure called a redneck vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb,…

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Siren

A little boy had a little red wagon and he had his dog tied up to it. The boy was sitting in the wagon as the dog was pulling him very slowly. A man walks by and says to the boy, “You know that if you tied that rope around the dog’s neck instead of his balls he would pull you around faster.” The boy looked at the man and replied, “Yeah, but then I wouldn’t have the cool siren.”

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God Created Woman…

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden Of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?” God replies. “Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me. You have surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I am lonely.” “Well, Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you.” “What’s a woman, Lord?” “This woman will…

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Yo Mama

* Your mama so skinny her nipples touch. * Your Mama feet so big she went into a shoe store and asked for a size eleven box. * Your Mama so fat when she ran away from home they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

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Scared or Apprehensive?

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet and sad and looking a pit pale, so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?” I asked. He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.” I asked, “What’s the difference?” He replied, “That means I’m scared with a university education.”

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Grammatical Uses of the ‘F’ Word

Grammatical Uses of the Word Fuck Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “FUCK.” It is the one magical word, which, just by it’s sound can describe Pain, Pleasure, Love and Hate. In language, “FUCK” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck)…

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If It Weren’t For The Movies

Things You’d Never Know If It Weren’t For The Movies: Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed. One of a pair of identical twins is evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. It doesn’t matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one…

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