Wa wa Jokes - page 210

lab rats

AP–The federal government today released the findings of a four year study that linked living in cages to increased potential of developing cancer in laboratory rats. The study, which cost an estimated $17 million, was started in 1983 when all the rats in a laboratory test control group contracted cancer. Spokesperson John Smith explained: “We were running a test on the possible link between excess popcorn intake and increased incidence of colon cancer. The test group consisted of twenty rats…

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Blondes’ Revenge

Blondes, having endured years of abuse, have finally responded. Here’s what they have to say about redheads and brunettes! ********* REDHEADS ********* How do you get a redhead to argue with you? Say something How do you get a redhead’s mood to change? Wait 10 seconds If you love a Redhead, set her free … if she follows you everywhere you go, she pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she’s yours.…

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Golf

A lady and a friend were playing golf at a resort. The lady hits her golfball and a little while after hears a scream. She runs towards the scream and finds a man lying on the floor, holding his crutch. The woman exclaims, “oh my, I’m so sorry, please, i am a physiotherapist, let me massage it and it will feel better.” The man replies that it is fine. The women insists and sticks her hands down his pants and…

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Reluctant Juror

According to tradition, the guilty cannot be hidden. Think of the fellow who wanted to be dismissed from jury duty. He tried every excuse to no avail. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. “Your Honor,” he said, ” I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man over there with those beady eyes and that twisted smile and I said…

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BLONDE NURSES’ HANDBOOK #2

Anesthesia…Movie about crazy Russian girl Aorta…Responsibility, as in “Aorta empty that bedpan” Atrophy…Bowling team award Blue Baby…Newborn Smurf Caplet…Beanie Coccyx…More than one dick Colon…Punctuation mark Coma….Ditto Diarrhea…Little book of personal thoughts Eroded Disc…Worn out LP Fibula…Little white lie Fractures…One half, one third…numbers like that Hyperextension…Extra-long telephone cord Lobotomy…Getting your ears pierced Medicine…Invented lightbulb Shingles…Those thingys on roof Spinal Tap…Rock band or dance step Sternum…Canned heat for camping Tongue Depressor…Makes tongue sad X-rayed…Porno movie

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Why did the chicken…(political version 2000)

Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…

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Lil’ Johnny’s Thanksgiving

Lil’ Johnny’s parents were fighting. There were screaming, crying, and cussing. Johnny’s mom called his dad a bastard. Johnny’s dad called his mom a bitch. Finally, they broke it up and apologized, although both of them were still a little steamed. His dad went upstairs to the bathroom. His mom stayed in the kitchen to cook the turkey. Lil’ Johnny went upstairs to the bathroom. His father was in there shaving. He asked his dad: “Dad, what does bitch mean?”…

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All In The Family

A car was involved in an accident at a street intersection. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.” The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

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The Magical frog

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said “Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes… Bear, you go first.” The…

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