Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two college presidents were talking about how difficult their jobs were. “I wish I ran an orphanage,” said the one president, “and then I wouldn’t have to deal with parents and all the crap they give me.” The second one looked up and said, “I’d like to be the head warden responsible for death row inmates.” The first president look surprised and said, “Why would you want THAT job?” “I wouldn’t have to deal with alumni,” he replied.
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A young lady was eating lunch alone at a restaurant and couldn’t help overhearing a discussion among four men at a neighboring table. Said the first man, “Just spell it the simplest possible way—W-O-O-M.” “There’s a B in it, you dope,” said the second. “It’s spelled W-O-O-M-B.” “You don’t have enough letters,” objected the third. “I think it ought to be spelled W-O-O-O-M-M-B.” “Nonsense,” said the fourth. “It’s ridiculous to put in all those letters. Besides, there’s a final R.…
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Three old men are at the doctor for memory tests. The doctor says to the first old man, “What is three times three?” “274,” was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?” “Tuesday,” replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three?” “Nine,” says the third man. “That’s great!” says the doctor. “How did you get that?” “Simple,” says the third…
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One day a little boy was watching some cows in a field. There was a brown cow, a white cow and a bull. After a few mintues the boy runs into the house where his home is. “Mommy, the bull is fucking the brown cow!” the boy says “Now Billy, that is not what we say, we say the bull surprised the brown cow.” The little boy leaves and then comes back a little while later. “Mommy, mommy!” the boys…
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One witch told another witch, “I want one of those new computers that has a spell checker.” Don’t bother inviting the Invisible Man to your Halloween party. He won’t show up. Sometimes he makes excuses, but they’re all transparent. You don’t have to worry about Daylight Savings Time at Halloween. The holiday is always on Green Witch Mean Time. Western Union opened an office in a graveyard so the spooks could send and receive cryptograms. Vampire pick-up line “What’s your…
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Hank was a not-too-smart kind of guy. Every day when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three men who would beat him up and steal his money. Finally, Hank decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn’t happen again. He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well defending himself. So, one day, on the way home from work,…
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I’m not sure if there is any truth to this, but it sure was funny. In anticipation of President Clinton’s visit to Oklahoma City, after tornadoes struck on May 3rd, one homeowner, whose home was destroyed, spray painted on what was left of his home, “HEY BILL, HOW’S THIS FOR A BLOW JOB?!” Before Clinton came, the Secret Service made him get rid of it.
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There was a guy who neede brain surgery. The doctor told him that there was a man’s brain for 500,000 dollars and a woman’s brain for 200,000 dollars. The guy went home and discussed it with his wife on what they should do. When he told her the prices for the brains, she became a little offended. She went in to the doctor and asked him why the woman’s brain costs less and the doctor simply replied, “Because it’s been…
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Just match the Chinese interpretation to the English and speak Chinese in just 5 min! E: Are you harboring a fugitive? C: Hu Yu Hai Ding? E: See me A.S.A.P. C: Kum Hia Nao E: Stupid Man C: Dum Gai E: Your price is too high! C: No Bai Dam Ting! E: Did you go to the beach? C: Wai Yu So Tan? E: I bumped into a coffee table C: I Bang Mai Ni E: I think you need…
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A penguin had been out hunting for food for quite some time and finally returned to the rookery where there were several thousand other penguins. He climbed out of the cold water absolutely shagged and sat quietly recovering for a few minutes. Then he turned to another penguin who was near him and gasped, “Excuse me, but can you help me find my wife?” “Sure,” replied the stranger, “What does she look like?”
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