Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
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A girl burdened by a wood eye was always made fun of as a child. She was always called “woodeye”. So at her prom after being rejected for the last time she thought to herself, “Okay I am gonna ask this one last guy to dance and if he makes fun of me he is gonna get smacked.” So as she approached the nerdiest boy in school she asked, “Would you like to dance?” In reply the boy yelled, “WOULD…
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A car breaks down along the expressway one day, so the driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the highway. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trenchcoats. The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. One of the worst pile-ups in history occurs. When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the side of the road, the man…
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Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed them how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time…. “Class,” said he, “my name begins with the letter ‘M,’ and I pick up things…. What am I?” A little boy on the front row said, “You’re a mother.”
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A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, “I don’t have any money.. but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother!” To that the man asks, “Anything?” And the blonde says, “yes.. Anything!” With that, the man says, “Follow me.” He walks into the next room and tells her, “Come in and close the door”. She does.…
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Early one morning Monica Lewinsky got a call from Playboy magazine. They wanted her to be in the next month’s centerfold. “Only one catch,” they said, “you’ll have to get your love handles chopped off.” She went to the doctor’s office and said to him, “I need these love handles chopped off so I can be in Playboy’s new centerfold.” He said, “Right away,” and gave her some gas to put her to sleep. Two hours later she woke up,…
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Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…
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As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: “Mr. President, would you please return the Flight Attendant to her upright position and prepare to land?” A reporter asked Clinton one day, “Was Monica lying?” Clinton responded, “No, she was on her knees.” Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am? A: She wants to make sure that she is the FIRST lady. Q: What is…
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Q:What have disneyworld and viagra got in common? A:You’ve got to wait an hour for a two minute ride
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Joe Sperm decided to get in shape, so when the big day came, he could be the one to find the egg. Every day, he ran long distance sprints, lifted weights, and anything else he thought would keep him in shape. The other sperm all laughed at him. Finally, the big day came. Joe was off like a flash, and very soon, the other sperm lost sight of him. They all thought they had lost, when suddenly they saw Joe…
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