Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, “So, what did you bring?” The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the “Van Gogh of Jail”. Then he asked the first, “What did you bring?” The first convict…
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Two guys go on a camping trip up into the mountains, and they have a wonderful time. By about the fourth day, however, they’ve run out of things to talk about and are starting to get on each others nerves. So on the fourth night, as they’re having dinner, one of the guys makes a suggestion to his friend. “Look, we’ve been having a pretty good time up here, but let’s face it…after four days together we’ve run out of…
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To share to whom it may concern: I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that its a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a…
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One time a Lawyer from up North came down to South Texas to go hunting. He shot a duck and it landed in an old farmers field. When he went to go get it the farmer saw him and asked what he was doing. The lawyer repeated in a smart ass way, “I am getting my duck, old man. Watch out!” The old man replied, “Well here in south Texas we got a contest we play before you can get…
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A new minister in a small town spent the first four days desperately calling on the membership, begging them to come to his first services….He failed. Early the following week, he placed a notice in the local newspaper stating that, as the church was dead, it was his duty to give it a decent Christian burial. The funeral would be held the following Sunday afternoon, the notice said. Morbidly curious, the whole town turned out. In front of the pulpit,…
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During world war 2 a Scottish general, an English general and an Irish general were captured by a German S.S. officer. They were all standing outside a concentration camp when the S.S. agent says, “Before du go in to die concentration camp , I vill give each of you vone hundert lashes , but since you have vought bravely I vill give you one vish each.” He then turns to the Scottish general and asks him, “Vhat is your vish…
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A New Hampshireman stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves his tip of three pennies. As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself: “You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves.” The man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. “Oh, really? Tell me, what does my tip say?” “Well, this penny tells me you’re a thrifty man.”…
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Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago. He was only a few blocks away from his house when he realized he’d left his plane ticket on top of his dresser. He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly entered the door and walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife washing the breakfast dishes, wearing her skimpiest negligee. She looked so good that he tiptoed up behind her, reached around, and squeezed her left…
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A dwarf with a lisp goes to an agricultural show to buy a mare. He wanders around until he comes across a beautiful mare inside a small enclosure with a farmer standing at the gate. He goes up to the farmer and says, “Excthuth me, can I have a look at your horth?” “Sure”, says the farmer,”come on in.” The dwarf wanders round and round the mare and then stops, says to the farmer “Her eyeth, her eyeth, I want…
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I Know a blonde that was so stupid that….. she called me for my # she spent 20 mins. looking a the O.J. bottle b/c it said “concentrate” she put lipstick on her forehead b/c she wanted to make-up her mind she tried to drown a fish If you gave her a penny 4 her thoughts you’d get change under “education” on her application she put “Hooked On Phonics” If she were to speak her mind she’d be speechless she…
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