Uck Jokes - page 83

Q: What do you call an old man that got hit by a mac truck? A: A pap smear

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It’s your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be. He looks deeply within…

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One day a man went in to talk to his preacher and while he was talking, he was eating away at the peanuts sitting on the preacher’s desk. He did not notice how many peanuts he had eaten, and when he finally looked down, the bowl was empty. The man said to the preacher, “I am so sorry, I didn’t notice that I ate all of your peanuts.” The preacher replied, “Oh, don’t worry about it, son. I just suck…

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It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not to far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute…

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I was in an ice cream parlor with my friend the other day, Sunday I believe. We watched as a very old limozine pulled up front and parked. A lovely older lady and a small young female ,about 6 years old got out and walked into the parlor. The well dressed older lady asked the young girl what kind of ice cream did she want for her birthday party? The young girl replied ‘Chocolate”. The young man behind the counter…

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