Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen. What’s the difference between a good ol’ boy and a redneck? The good ol’ boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved. How do you know when your staying in a Tennessee hotel? When you call the front desk and say, “I’ve gotta leak in my sink!” and the person at the front…
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There was a girl who wanted to get a tattoo on her butt cheeks. She wanted it to say baby blue. So she went to a tattoo place and ask the the tattoo guy if he could put baby blue on her butt cheaks. Baby on one side and blue on another. The tattoo guy said “OK, I charge $10.00 for each letter.” but the girl only had $20.00. The guy said, “Tell you what, how about if I put…
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A very good-looking guy walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat up every single woman who walks into the bar, without any luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man, walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most…
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Three Jewish immigrant brothers named Moshe, Aaron and Daniel, had a dinner reunion to celebrate their fifteen years stay in America. Since Mother’s Day was just around the corner, they were discussing the gifts they would be giving their Momma back home in Israel. Moshe the eldest brother said, “I had a mansion built in Jerusalem and Momma would be moving into it on Mother’s Day.” Aaron the middle brother said, “I bought a special edition Mercedes Benz for Momma…
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A truck driver walked into a bar and noticed a sign on the door saying “no Nerds allowed!” He asked the waiter why such a thing was written and the man replied, “It’s Nerd season and you’re allowed to shoot freely.” The truck driver left the bar driving his truck full of computers along a dirt road. He went over a pothole and all the computers fell out. As soon as he got out of his truck there were 10,11,12…
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Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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One time, when the Chicago Cubs were digging deep in the barrel for new talent, a scout excitedly phoned manager Charlie Grimm from somewhere in the sticks. “Charlie,” he shouted, “I’ve landed the greatest young pitcher in the land. He struck out every man who came to bat—twenty-seven in a row! Nobody even got a foul until two were out in the ninth. The pitcher is right here with me. What shall I do?” Back came Grimm’s voice. “Sign up…
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Gals, when someone asks, “Why aren’t you married?” Here are some suggested retorts: “You haven’t asked yet.” “I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.” “What? And spoil my great life?” “Nobody would believe me in white.” “Because I just love hearing this question.” “Just lucky, I guess.” “It gives my mother something to live for.” “My fiance is awaiting parole.” “I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss America.” “Do you know how hard it is to…
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There was a man that was going to rob his first bank in his life but he was nervous about doing it. So the next day he went downtown and walked into the bank and said, “Freeze, mother sticker, this is a fuck up!”
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