Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
True Facts About Americans Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. 85% of men don’t use the slit in their underwear. 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs). The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago…
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A girl and this guy have been going out for a long time when she finally says, “I have got to have you NOW!” He says, “How?” “Well, there’s a tree in my backyard. You can put me in it then fuck me.” He agrees, so they go in the backyard and he puts her in the tree and they do it. He takes her down and she goes inside to her room. Finally his conscience gets to him and…
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Poo Poo Boudreaux and Poo Poo Thibodeaux were coming up in an inlet in the motor boat when they saw another boat loaded with fish. Seeing as how their luck had been awful today, Boudreaux asked the fisherman what his secret was. He said, “Jes go out to sea till the water she gets fresh. Den stop der and drop yer line.” Excited, Boudreaux fired up the motor and headed out to sea. When they got a little ways out,…
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What does a sperm have in common with a lawyer? They both have a 1 in a million chance of becoming a human! Why should lawyers be buried 100 feet deep? Because deep down, they`re really good people. Why don`t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand. If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why shouldn`t you swerve and hit him? It might be your bicycle. Why did the lawyer cross the…
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There once was a blonde, brunette and a red head on an island. They were stuck there so they had nothing better to do so they decided to walk down the beach. They came across a genie bottle and they decided to rub on it to see if there was a genie inside. So the brunette rubbed it with her hand and a genie came out and said “I’ll give each of you one wish, and one wish only!” The…
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“BIT” = A wager as in, “I bit you cain’t spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways.” “BYTE” = First word in a kiss-off phrase. “CURSOR” = What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend. “FLOPPY” = When ya’ll can’t get it up no more. “DIGITAL CONTROL” = What yore fingers do on the TV remote. “HARD DRIVE” = Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires while pulling a trailer…
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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of alcohol. Mom got mad, Chucked one at dad. It hit the wall, All the beer happened to fall, No bottles of beer on the wall. Went to the store, bought some more, 99 bottles of beer on the wall! (for full effect repeat infinite times)
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Exclamations: “Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth!” “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” “Ahm fixin ta do that” Threats: “I’ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.” “This’ll jar your preserves.” “Don’t you be makin’ me open up uh can uh whup-ass on ya!” Good Things/Compliments: “Cute as a sack full of puppies” “If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoyit.” “Gooder’n grits” The Weather:…
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On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of relationships in my life, but…
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Twas the night before crisis, And behind White House doors, Not a creature was stirring, Especially Al Gore. The interns were nestled, Dressed in their berets, In hopes that Saint Bubba Would come out to play. When on the East Lawn, There arose such a clatter, Even Sam Donaldson Lost control of his bladder. Away to our TVs We flew like a flash, There’s a special report, And it’s pre-empting M*A*S*H! And what to our wondering Eyes should appear, But…
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