Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said, “Sure.” So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the man did for a living, so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They…
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Stupid people should have to wear signs that say, “I’M STUPID!” That would save the rest of us “normal” folks a lot of headaches. We wouldn’t rely on them or expect much from them. It would be like, “Oh, excuse me. Never mind. I just noticed your sign.” It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes, and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, “Hey, you moving?”…
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Not likely to find these cards at your local Hallmark store…. “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.” “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.” “Looking back over the years that we’ve been…
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A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.” “We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear…
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A very busy corporate lawyer was called out of an important meeting to the bedside of an extremely wealthy widow who was one of the firm’s most prestigious clients. She was also well-known for her devoted Christian faith. The lawyer was ushered into the bedroom of the widow and asked, “What can I do for you, Mrs. Warbucks?” “Just come and stand beside my bed,” she said while lying in bed. The lawyer did as he was told. A few…
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George was sitting at his desk and stressing over the upcoming deadlines when his boss came up to him. Their conversation went as follows: Boss: “George, when is the last time you took a vacation?” George: “Sir, I don’t have time for a vacation. There is way too much work to be done.” Boss: “George, I believe you would be more productive if you took some time to get away from your work and relax for a little bit.” George:…
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Years ago, before “Caller ID” was perfected, I telephoned 911 and exclaimed, “Help! There’s a FIRE at 1234 Maple Street! Please hurry!” As I heard the sirens wailing in the distance, I dialed the city accounting office and asked to speak to the Administrator. Once he was on the line, I asked, “How much does it cost the city, for the fire department to respond to false alarm calls?” “Each false alarm costs the taxpayers around $500,” he replied. “Good!”…
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You met him in prison. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser”. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. He picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.” He tells you that he’s never told a lie. During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy. He asks a hostile witness to “pull my finger.” A prison guard is shaving your head. Most…
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I heard she would never say no, Ten bucks for a really good blow. When down on her knees, I said, “Baby, please! Too low! You’re sucking my toe!”
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This man and his son where driving down the road the man pulls out a beer and begins taking a drink, his son asks, “dad, can i have a drink?” his dad replies, “son, can your dick touch your ass?” His son jumps in the back seat then comes back up front, “no, dad it can’t.” “sorry, son you can’t have any!” the boys father then pulls out a ciggarette, “Dad, can I have a drink?” the boy asks. “Can…
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