Ual Jokes - page 14

Customer Service

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional prank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he was being paged by “Lucille.” He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCustomer Service

If Men Ran the World…

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIf Men Ran the World…

Lookie Here!

An old golfer was starting to have a very hard time during his game. Since he was 85, it was not unusual that his eyesight was not what it used to be. He would drive the ball quite well, but even though he wore eyeglasses he could not see where the ball would go. Hoping to solve the problem, he asked his older brother, who still had excellent eyesight, for some help. So they both went out on the course…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLookie Here!

Ping Pong Ball Contest

A local TV station sponsored a fabulous contest, the grand prize being a 30-day all expense paid trip around the world. Three gentlemen were selected as finalists, and as a final task each were given 14 days to accumulate as many ping pong balls as they could. The three men all set out on their unusual journey. After 5 days the first gentleman returned in a Chevy pickup truck, filled to the top with small white ping pong balls. “Great!…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePing Pong Ball Contest

If Men Truly Ran the World…

If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIf Men Truly Ran the World…

Good advice for those that are married/engaged/whipped…

*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeGood advice for those that are married/engaged/whipped…

Vacation

A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks “What’s up?” The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?!” Joe says, “Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting there?” “We’re taking TWA,” the man replies. “TWA?!” yells Joe. “They’re a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeVacation

Changing Zips

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. She says, “I’m on the road a lot, and my friends are complaining that they can never reach me.” “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” the psychiatrist asks. “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Puzzled, he asks, “Uh … How’s that working?” “Actually, I haven’t gotten any letters yet,” the blonde responded. “And why do you think…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeChanging Zips

Dennis Rodman

A woman in a bar was picked up by Dennis Rodman, the famous basketball player known for the wildly changing colour and style of his hair. They liked each other and the woman went back with him to his hotel room. He removed his shirt revealing all of his tattoos and she saw, on his right arm was a tattoo that said, “Reebok”. She thought that it was a bit odd and asked him about it. Rodman responded, “When I…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDennis Rodman

The Signalman

Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him. “What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading for each other on the same track?” “I would switch the points for one of the trains,” Andy replies. “What if the lever broke?” asked the inspector. “Then I’d dash down out of the signal box,” said Andy, “and I’d…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Signalman