Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
While at work one day, Bob gets a letter telling him that he has been drafted for the war and has two hours to be at the Air Base to make his plane. Thinking he has only two hours, he speeds home to spend them with his wife. On the way he gets stopped several times, and therby loses one hour of his time. When he arrives home, he only has five minutes to pack, and so asks his wife…
(0)
Loading...
16) Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of “Lord of the Flies.” 15) Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some waterpaints, and no pants. 14) “OK, kids! Gather ’round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!” 13) Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers. 12) First school fund-raiser is for the Salman Rushdie fatwa reward prize. 11) No student has ever jumped from Mary Margaret’s School for the Gender…
(0)Loading...
Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “Hey, Moe!” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result…
(0)Loading...
I, the undersigned, a female accepting a marriage proposal, agree that… Section 1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you’ve drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five *whole* minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one. Section 1.01 And it’ll be a really good act too, with me saying stuff like “So THIS is what hot monkey love is all about!” and howling like a cat…
(1)Loading...
A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submittals. 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. 2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. 3. E-mail is not to be…
(0)Loading...
Pepito is at home doing his Math homework. Pepito: “Two plus five the son of a b**** is seven. Three plus six the son of a b**** is nine”. In that moment, his mother comes in. Mother: “But Pepito, what are you doing?! Why are you saying that?!” Pepito: “I’m doing my Math homework, Mom”. Mother: “And is that what your teacher taught you?” Pepito: “Yes” Next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving, goes to…
(10)Loading...
I’m glad I’m a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don’t live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam. I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections. I won’t drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I don’t get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down! I won’t grab your hooters, I won’t pinch your butt. My belt buckle’s not hidden beneath my beer…
(1)Loading...
If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…
(2)Loading...
Q. Should I have a baby after 35? A. No, you’ve done more than your share with 35 children. Q. I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A. With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving? A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant. Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational. A. So what’s your question? Q. When is…
(0)Loading...
Sick and tired of hearing all those nasty blonde jokes and of how all blondes are perceived to be dumb, this blonde is determined to show her husband that blondes are really smart. While her husband is off to work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 pm…
(0)Loading...