Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three guys,a Russian, a Swede and a Czech, decided that they wanted to go bear hunting. They read all the books, asked the pros for advice, and got all the state of the art equipment. When they got to the reserve they told the guard on duty, “If we don’t come back in three days, come looking for us.” And with that taken care of they drove on into the wilderness. Three days passed and still the guys hadn’t shown…
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X-FILE CASE #1224 ================ 57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH Mulder: Scully! We’re too late! It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been here? Mulder: Someone … or something. Scully: Mulder, over here — it’s a fruitcake.…
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British conductor and organist Sir Malcolm Sargent was chief conductor at the London Promenade Concerts during the last century, and did much to bring classical music alive for younger audiences. As he was preparing to leave the Albert Hall in London after a concert one evening, Sir Malcolm overheard the following brief exchange between two young girls: “How I envy Sir Malcolm.” “You mean his conducting?” “Oh, no, not that. I mean his neat little flat behind.”
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Two elderly men are out driving in a large car, and both can barely see over the dashboard. As they are cruising along they come to an intersection. The stoplight is red but they just go sailing on through. The man in the passenger seat thinks to himself, “I must be losing my mind. I swear we just went through a red light.” They come to another intersection and the light is red again, but again they go right through.…
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Notice Of Increase In Tax Payments To All Male Taxpayers Gentlemen: The only thing the government has not yet taxed is your “PECKER.” Mainly because 98% of the time your pecker is out of work and the 2% it is in the hole. Moreover, it has two dependents who are both nuts. Accordingly, beginning on April 1 of this year, your pecker will be taxed according to its size. Use the Pecker-Checker scale listed below to determine your tax. Please…
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The other day I went into the local religious book store where I saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, just lost in thoughts of the Lord and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots…
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After a two year study, the National Science Foundation has announced the following results on America’s recreational preferences: 1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is basketball. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. 3. The sport of choice for blue-collar line workers is football. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. 5. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is…
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Corporate Buzzwords for 2000 Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively. Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Cube Farm:…
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Dear Customers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads “WINDERS 98” and has a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.…
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Here is a great historical instance of out-of-the-box thinking: The renown British physicist Ernest Rutherford was known as the father of nuclear physics. When he was a professor at an English university, he got a call from a colleague who asked if Rutherford would be a referee on the grading of an examination question. This fellow professor was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question while the student claimed he should receive a…
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