Tree Jokes - page 17

Piccolo Player

One day a farmer caught a traveling salesman making love to his youngest daughter. Yelling “You son of a bitch!” he shot the amorous salesman in the groin with a .12-gauge shotgun. The screaming salesman quickly took off for town to find a doctor. He found one, but the physician took one look at the man’s dick and told him that nothing could be done for him. “Oh, please do something,” begged the salesman. “I’m a rich man and can…

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Read JokePiccolo Player

before his very eyes

A highly sophisticated couple and a country couple were walking down a street when the country guy farted. The sophisticated man looked at him with a go to hell look and said, “How dare you fart before my wife!” The country boy replied, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t know she wanted to fart first!”

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Read Jokebefore his very eyes

Drifting Off in Class

Sometimes, when I’m in class, I dream that I’m on a tropical island, with a dozen or more scantily clad females beside me, sitting under a huge palm tree, with some soft, gentle music being played on some traditional wood instruments of that region, and a cool, gentle breeze caressing my tanned body. I do all this while trying to forget I’m in a classroom. Of course, it would be so much easier if all my students weren’t waiting for…

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Read JokeDrifting Off in Class

My thoughts, from my mind….

If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…

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Read JokeMy thoughts, from my mind….

Blonde Jokes… A List

How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…

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Read JokeBlonde Jokes… A List

Growing up too soon?

A guy’s walking down the street and sees Dirty Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.” Johnny looks up and doesn’t say anything. The guy says, “How old are you?” Johnny says, “Six.” The guy says, “Six? When did you start smoking?” Johnny says, “Right after the first time I got laid.” The guy says, “Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?” Johnny says, “I don’t remember. I was drunk.”

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Read JokeGrowing up too soon?

Camouflage

There were two Irish women walking down the main street of Belfast when one said to the other, “Don’t you think all those soldiers look stupid wearing camouflage uniforms in the middle of a city?” The other woman replied, “What soldiers?”

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Read JokeCamouflage

Stop that coffin!!

There’s a man walking home alone at night, and there is a “BUMP…BUMP…BUMP” behind him. He walks faster and looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging it’s way down the middle of the street towards him… “BUMP … BUMP…BUMP…” The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces after him faster…faster…BUMPBUMPBUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door… locks it…and the coffin crashes through his door and…

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Read JokeStop that coffin!!