Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Back in the 1920’s, Americans were not yet accustomed to strangers of particularly exotic appearance, and when Wellington Koo served as Chinese representative at the Washington Conference in 1921, he was much more a curiosity than he would have been a generation later. At one social function, a Washington lady found herself next to Koo and was utterly unable to think of a thing to say. Finally, after the soup, she nerved herself to ask, in very clear tones so…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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The symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven’s Ninth. In the piece, there’s a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some of them decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, “Hey! We need to get back!” “No need to panic,” said…
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A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m just a walking economy.” His friend replies, “What do you mean?” “It’s like this: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.
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There were 3 babies in a lady’s stomach. One day, they were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. The first baby said, “I want to be an plumber when I grow up.” The other two asked why. He said, “Someone has to fix all the leaky pipes in here.” The second baby said, “I want to be an electrician.” The other two started laughing, and asked why. He said, “It’s kinda dark in here. Someone…
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* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station… * If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with “quit while you’re ahead”? * I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me. They’re cramming for their “finals”. * I thought about how mothers feed their…
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There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks . . . Rufus and Clarence. They lived on opposite sides of the river, and they hated each other. Every morning, just after sunrise, Rufus and Clarence would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at each other. “RUFUS!!” Clarence would shout. “You better thank your lucky stars that I can’t swim . . . or I’d swim this river and whup your butt!!”…
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A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, “Granddaughter? Are you there?” The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, “Grandmother? Is that you?” “Yes granddaughter, it’s me.” “It’s really, really you, grandmother?” the woman repeats. “Yes, it’s really me, granddaughter.” The woman looks…
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A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Newfie were on shore leave from the Navy. They went into the bar and got completely drunk. The next morning, they awoke hung over and broke. The Englishman said, “I’m going to try something.” He went into the bar and ordered a double Scotch. The bartender brought him the drink and told him, “That’ll be two dollars.” The Englishman said, “I paid you already.” The bartender said, “No you didn’t.” The Englishman began screaming,…
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Jeff had been my best friend since kindergarten, so it was no surprise to me when he asked me to be the best man at his wedding. On the appointed day, as we were getting dressed for the ceremony, Jeff got a rather severe case of “cold feet.” “I can’t go through with it,” he said. “I’m nauseous, my stomach is cramping, and my knees are like spaghetti.” I said, “It’s just PMS.” “PMS?” he asked. “Yeah,” I quipped, “Pre-Marital…
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