Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering–have you ever cheated on me?” Becky replies, “Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question….” “Yes, Beck, I really want to know. Please…” “Well, all right. Yes, 3 times…” “Three? Well, when were they?” he asked. “Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old, and you really wanted to start that business on…
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Yo family is so poor, i was at your house and i had to use the bathroom, and your mama said “third bucket on the left.” Yo family is so poor, i stepped on a cigarette in the floor, and your mama said “who turned down the heat?” Yo family is so poor, i was riding on a skateboard i found in your front yard, and your mama came out and said, “get off the family car!” Yo mama is…
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A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. “Och, whut’s thaaat?” he said. His Canadian friend looked out the window and said, “Oh, that’s a moose.” “Och! If thaaat’s a moose, hoo big are your cats arooond here?”
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15. Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead. 14. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap. 13. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs. 12. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time 11. Can’t enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck yelling, “Look Ma! It’s Elvis!” 10. After 45 years of Communist rule, it’s impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin. 9. After 100 years of trying,…
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A priest and a nun were enjoying a ride through the Sahara desert when halfway through the journey their camel suddenly collapsed on the sand, lifeless. “Now, we have no choice but to walk back,” said the priest. About two miles into their walk the nun says, “Father, it’s extremely hot out here in the desert, would you mind if I removed my habit?” To which the preist replies, “Of course not, my child, I’m sure that God would understand…
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A man and his wife were driving through Arkansas on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decides to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Shell station and pulls over to the high octane pump. “What can I do fer ya’ll?” asks the attendant. “Fill her up with high test,” replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he’s looking the…
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FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. I can’t dial NINE-ELEVEN in an emergency, because there’s no ELEVEN on my phone. Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names. What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free? Can you yell “MOVIE!” in a crowded fire station? If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? To vacillate…
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10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. Mind if I use your laptop? 8. Just stick it in my box. 7. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag! 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!! 5. Hmmmmmm. I think it’s out of fluid! 4. My equipment is so old; it takes forever to finish. 3. It’s an entry-level position. 2. When do you think you’ll be getting off today? And the number 1 thing…
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Jack is walking past an insane asylum one day. As he gets closer to the fence, he hears a lot of voices chanting, “Twenty-two! Twenty-two!” This attracts Jacks curiosity, and it just so happened that at just that time, Jack came upon a knothole in the fence. He bent over, and as he peeked inside, a finger reached through the hole from the other side and poked him in the eye. He staggered backwards, and continued walking down the sidewalk.…
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One of the nation’s largest soup manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking American shelves this week with their newest soup creation, “Clinton Soup”, to honor one of the nation’s most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water.
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