Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man returns home from work early and enters the house through the kitchen door. He sees his wife on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on so the husband gets a big hard on, drops his pants and starts humping his wife doggy style. When he is finished, he pulls out and at the same time hits her hard up the side of her head. “What was that for?” the wife screamed “Here…
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Four surgeons were sitting around a table, talking about which type of people they like to operate on. “I like to operate on librarians,” says the first one. “When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order.” “I like to operate on accountants,” said the second one. “When you open them up, they are in numerical order.” “I like to operate on engineers.” said the third one. “They will understand if you end up with some extra parts.” The…
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Baby Photographer The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.” Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to….” “Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting…
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How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite, pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, tunnel, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive,…
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There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman 2 New Zealand men and 1 New…
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Word started getting out about Snow White’s mirror and people really started getting the idea of wanting to inquire of the mirror themselves. Sleeping Beauty wanted to know if she really was the most beautiful of all. Tom Thumb wanted to make sure he really was the smallest person. And, Quasimodo wanted to know that he was the ugliest. So they each went before the mirror. As Sleeping Beauty was leaving she said, “Oh, I really *am* the most beautiful…
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“Resumania” is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulting’s parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appear on job candidates’ resumes, job applications and cover letters. Here’s some examples: “I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.” (And an eye on the “e” section of the dictionary, evidently.) “Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.”…
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If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? Hard work will pay off later. Laziness pays off now! If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help. When blondes have more fun, do they know it? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot. Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking? A hangover is…
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Little Johnny asks his teacher: “How are the babies made?” Teacher, not wanting to take the responsibility of explaining such a sensitive subject, suggests that he go home and ask his parents. When he gets home, Johnny approaches his father with the same question. His father replies, “Oh! that is a long story, you better speak to mother!” The mother, in her turn, says: “Oh! It is a difficult question, why don’t you better speak to granddad!” Grandfather is sitting…
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Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR)interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?” GENERAL REINWALD: “We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.” FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “Shooting! that’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?” GENERAL REINWALD: “I don’t see why,…
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